h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This just in: As an added incentive for voting for us, Irving Washington will throw in a free coffee from the Aroma Cafe! Thanks, Irv!

G7

But that's twice as much as it costs if you don't vote for them.

*dashes over to Marv's desk, grabs a Penguin mint, and scampers out*

Mmm, coffee. Is that offer open to other presidential candidates and people not intending to vote for you?

Actually that makes me think. Who shall *I* vote for?

Of Course Donuts/Doughnuts are freely available if you vote for DD and Joanna.

If only you could vote for both groups, you'd have the perfect breakfast.

G7

I dunno, they're blatantly trying to bribe voters. Only a dishonest candidate would do that.

Anyone want a complimentary chocolate cake by the way?

No one siad nothing about using your business franchises as part of the campaign strategy.

Hmm... that has possibilities...

*Peregrin contacts his associates in his contract killing business*

Wait, wait, wait! Are you going to offer a free assasination with each vote, or simply take out the competition?

G7

Well... I've yet to finalise the details... but I think it'll work on a threat-reward basis. ie. the threat is 'If you don't vote for me, I'll put a bullet through your head', and the reward is 'If you vote for me, I'll put a bullet through the head of your boss/ex lover/most hated teenage pop idol/whoever you want.

As for taking out the competition... that would create bad publicity. I'll just fire a warning shot at them. Through their legs.

Through the legs is better than across the nose I suppose. I wonder if its too late to order kevlar tights...Just in case, of course!

G7

Why do you think I'm getting paranoid again?

hey birdie.
if I vote for you, I can get you to put a contract on ANYBODY?

even you?

heh heh

Good one I hadn't thought of that.

Absolutely anybody.

Including myself. (hey, why not? if it gets me more votes. Since when have *I* followed logic??! )

Just because we're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get us...

G7

Paranoid, who said anything abot being paranoid?

Paranoia?! Where?!?!

*ducks behind DD*



G7

Me not see paranoia.

*DD hides behind Gw7en*

I have an idea! Let's both hide behind Peregrin! He's the one with the hitmen, after all...

*runs to hide behind Peregrin*

G7