h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I heard one about a spider that hides under bog seats. I religiously used to check carefully under the seat before sitting down (I was only 10).

There's also one about spiders that fly out of their webs at you. There was supposed to be an immigrant woman who was discovered in her house gaily swatting at these spiders as they came at her in squadrons.

I did that too and I was much older
And aren't kangaroos supposed to hop up to you and sock you with their front paws?

The one about the spider under the toilet seat is based on total truth. Of course, it's really only a problem if you have a free-standing dunny out the back. And it's not just spiders, but snakes too, and *apparently* 9 of the world's 10 deadliest snakes are found in Aus.

Basically, when the weather got cold or wet or hot (which, is pretty much all the time) the snakes and spiders would crawl/slither into all the nooks and crannies they could find to escape the elements. And outback dunnies are full of nooks and crannies. So if you were in a rush (and who wouldn't be on a midnight run on a stormy night?) it was quite likely you'd be bitten. And unfortunately, because of the time period, I'm pretty sure many people died as a result.

Now-a-days the spiders have unfortunately adapted to the lack of outback dunnies and moved on to cars. Two of their favourite places are the gap between the closed sun visor and the roof, and the gap between the front doors and the console. Check these before you drive off, much safer then spotting one while in the middle of peak traffic.

As for the 'flying' spiders, well, I know we have ones that can jump out at you, but I haven't heard of them ganging up. Which is not to say that they can't. They probably would no sooner than look at you, creepy little buggers 8^).

Ummmmmm, not quite.

If you try to corner a Kangaroo, it will lean back onto it's tail and kick you in the gut with its hind legs (or the head if you happen to be very short). This can kill you.

(Or at least this is what I was told by Rangers at Healesville Sanctuary)

My ex-girlfriend was rather traumatised by a dunny toad which appeared in the bowl after she'd flushed.
(Presumably it was clutching on under the rim whike she was doing her business.)
This occured at a remote service station in the Northern Territory and really shocked her.
Made me laugh though!

Yup, this one's true and it happened to my parent's quite often when I was 2 and we lived in Western Victoria.

It happens if your house is serviced by tank water. The frogs get into the tank and manage to find thier way into the cistern.

No, but large protective males can disembowel you with their hind legs.

Actually I think it is more like 14 of the 15 most poisonous snakes... all I can say is that the Rattlesnake (the big bad one of America) is a wimp... he WARNS you. Whereas the Tiger snake (not our most poisonous, but definitely up there) will chase you... it will actually hunt you... Not typical snake behaviour, that.

Then you have the fact that the brown snake, very boring name really, is an extremely poisonous snake, can grow to very long lengths (I have heard of 6' brown snakes) and can turn back completely upon itself. Compare this to the cobra which can only strike downwards... I know which one I'd rather take on... If you grab a cobra by the tail, as long as it isn't facing you, you are fine. Grab a brown by the tail however...

Re: Big Bad Roos

That's absolutely true. It happened to one of my father's dogs. The dog was picked up by the roo and disembowelled. I won't tell you what my dad did as you wouldn't believe it, anyway.

Another ploy used by kangaroos is to lure chasing dogs into a waterhole / dam /body of H2O and hold it down until it drowns.

True. That happened to another one of my dad's dogs. You could say "careless of him", but it's a tough life out there among the flying spiders and rampant snakes (not to mention blue ringed octopi (uses?) and big sharks etc. etc. that infest the oceans), where even the bog is an unsafe place for a bit of quiet contemplation of Life and the Universe.

Dogs are at a premium in the bush. If they chase kangaroos they either get gutted or drowned.

I've also been chased by a tiger snake. It stopped chasing me when it got to the edge of its territory (well, that is what I imagine it did). I was about 10 at the time and, after a frantic run, had managed to climb up onto a gatepost. I turned around and the snake just stopped dead about 8 feet away and slithered off in the opposite direction.

A friend of mine even saw a Tasmanian Tiger .....

I've seen a huge brown snake, not sure how long it was, as it was coming out of the bush on one side of the path and going back into it on the other, but its body was as big a a can of coke. Totally ignored me! During this last drought I've seen about half a dozen around my yard looking for water. Only little (1-2 feet) ones though.

unchartedscaper