h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The major drawback of the hands free kit is that you look like you're talking to yourself. This gives other people the impression that you are a nutter and stops them being a)friendly, b)polite or c)even talking to you at all.

I was sitting in the Virgin Lounge at Heathrow one day (as you do), when I noticed these two guys sitting opposite one another in some of the arm chairs. They were engaged in a vigorous conversation. After a while, it dawned on me that there were none of the usual verbal or body signals between them and they didn't even wait for one to finish before the other started talking. Must be some conversation. I strained to hear what they were saying, which seemed to be a series of complete non-sequiturs. It was only then that I noticed the mobile phone ear-pieces! They weren't even talking to one another.

On the other hand, simply equip yourself with one of these kits, then you can shout and gesticulate to yourself as usual, but people will assume you are using the phone. Essential camoflage for the urban nutter.

What about us nutters who don't WANT to look like mobile phone users, then?

Just gesticulate more vigorously than normal.

drooling a bit should add to the effect! :0)