A Conversation for Bipolar Disorder or 'Manic Depression'

daren't look right now

Post 21


Im currently awaiting a diagnosis and have been for many years!! I am expecting an appointment through my letterbox any day now to see a psychiatrist and am hoping that after countless years of therapy (starting from when i was a toddler and first saw a child psychologist) upto and continuing now and varying medication and different types of therapy including CBT that i may actually be finally getting somewhere. Now it has been (pretty much) decided that its looking as though i have bipolar disorder. I have been taking medication for many many years (24 in fact) which is a lot of years considering i am now 26 years old. I have battled anxiety from i believe birth and depression that has gradually gotten worse over the years. I spent my mid teens suffering horrendously with depression, even having to leave school and be home tutored. My moods tend to get high and then incredibly low, with the lows being more crippling than the highs, however i can say i dont recall being on an 'even keel' for a very long time. I get better days than others but when the depression hits its like a whirlwind that im stuck in and just go round and round and round and im just waiting to get spat out (so to speak) and then try and get up and dust myself off and carry on until i get sucked into the whirlwind again... thats my life as it is and has been up til now. Im sure once they've decided whether it is or isnt bipolar disorder and i have my diagnosis and the right medication life will change for me and i can have some more happy days! I dont want this to be mistaken as me trying to get sympathy and i dont want it either as i know millions of people suffer from this but sympathy and support are 2 different things arent they? I guess advice and support are what i need and anyone who can relate i'd be happy to hear from smiley - smiley

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daren't look right now

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