h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you add single cream as well as milk, as well as a pinch of salt to your bowl of porridge, it will make this deity-worthy manna even more sublime.

I could never understand why my dad would open a new bottle of milk for his porridge until I realised he was nicking the cream from the top - cheeky monkey. Nowadays it's a race to breakfast during the winter months.

As I had to make porridge for twenty people in the mornings for one year (though I really don't like it myself), I was told that you have to use a wooden spoon to stir the porridge. You should also only stir it in one direction, unfortunately, I can't remember whether it was clockwise or anticlockwise.
Anyways, if you like it, enjoy it!