h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

One of the great things abut Manchester is the bus service along Wilmslow Road. At times it seems like there is a bus every 30 seconds. The service is also 24 hour. It's one of the few times that I've seen a number of bus companies working a single route which benefits nobody but the consumer.
On a similar theme, I once asked a friend at work why Magic Buses were so named. He thought for a moment and pronounced that the buses really are magic because when you get on them you are in one place but when you get off you are somewhere completely different.

the buses are great. and cheap (except stagecoach)
But watch out, although buses are scarily frequent, there are times in the morning and evening where there're incredibly crowded during termtime. Probably dangerously so
Magic Buses are stagecoaches alter ego, don't get them if you're elderly/infirm, they're old old buses.... I'm speaking from personal experience here of my Grandmother.
Amother thing not to expect is anyone to know definitively what the fare is. It depends on how you look, the colour of the bus driver*, the time of day, the phase of the moon.... if you're in East Didsbury going into the town centre its cheaper and quicker to go by train.

*I actually do pay less along the same route with a coloured bus driver. weird but true.

Don't know about S Manchester busses, but the ones in E Manchester sound similar.
One point to make is that the consessionary fares are very cheap by national standards, or at least they were (coo I can remember when it was ten pence to get to school )

Its up to 37p. I remember back when it went up to 12p, but I don't remember it being 10...

Yeah, back in the day, circa 1986, when I was still in High School it used to cost 10p, but I had a Clipper Card, which saved 1p per journey. An absolute bargain! Then it went up to 12p, but Clipper Cards stayed the same....

I agree with you about those prices! They do change.
I have at times got a bus from St Mary's to Withington and
have paid an amount that I have remembered. The next evening
I quote the same amount and get "Where are you going??" You explain
and they try to make out that you are trying to cheat them out of 10p

Also if you plan to catch any bus early in the morning you may as well take up Bus spotting as you are going to see many a bus drive buy with people crammed in like sardines. If you manage to get on one, wear protective clothing and locate one of those stop bells cause your going to have to whack that thing a good 30 minutes before you plan to get off!

I remember back in the bad old days when I had to get the bus from Owens Park to Rusholme...

and back again in the evening...

I tended to charge myself 40p on most busses, 50p on stagecoach.

So, I get on the bus, d'you know the stop in Rusholme pretty well opposite the garage? And I say 50p please.
The driver looks at me blankly: Where are you going?
J: Owens park
Driver: *looks at fare sheet* 45p!
J:*surprised, pays* (to non initiates - stagecoach voluntarily charging less than 50p is just, well, !!!!!)

Next day, I get on a bus to go home, from the next stop in the direction of travel. So, naturally enough, I think, oh well, it should be 45 from here too, its less far...
j: 45 please.
D: where you going?
j: owens park
D: 55 please
J: but...
D: Theres a fare stage! *Don't* tell me you know the route better than me, thats Dickenson Road, there are no 45 fares from here... *continues rant*
J: *leaves bus*

2007: Clipper Cards are no more. Wilmslow Road remains as crowded as ever, but some bright spark has redesigned Rusholme so that there's only one lane of traffic in each direction. Add this to people in Rusholme ignoring yellow lines and "no parking" signs and putting their cars just wherever they please, AND the Friday-night post-mosque spectacle of cars full of Asian youths showing off to posses of Asian girls strolling seemingly aimlessly up and down the pavements, who are pretending to ignore them (some sort of mating ritual?) and you get gridlock... if the traffic wardens and cops ever chose to blitz Rusholme, they'd have a bonanza day as regards offences, endorsements and fines...

Arrr. Clipper cards. Used to be impossible to keep flat and would only work about 3 times in the machine. circa 1986 on the 254, 255, 256 and even the 257.

"12 please"

And of course, there's the invisible "Berlin Wall" which exists when crossing the city of Manchester in a south-north direction, and having to cross from one monopoly bus provider(Stagecoach) to the other (First) - who do not co-ordinate their planning and services at all to suit the traveller. I know from having had to visit Crumpsall Hospital from Stockport that a journey of this sort by bus can be Hell. The Metrolink is also worse than useless, as Crumpsall station, despite the great big sign on the wall saying "Alight Here for North Manchester General Hospital", is nowhere near Crumpsall hospital. Get off at the Metro and you still have another good mile of walking to find the hospital premises - not what you need when you're new in town and your local geography is hazy.

I feel strongly that at the very least, First and Stagecoach should honour each other's weekly prepaid tickets for cross-city travel. As this is already done on one service - the 22 Stockport-Bolton - there is a precedent here, after all! If they can do it on one service, they can do it on all?

"The Metrolink is also worse than useless" - fine if you live anywhereon its three-legged route, Salford- Bury-Altrincham - City Centre, or if you have business along its route. If you do, then (comments about Crumpsall Hospital not withstanding) it can't be faulted, although regular travellers have said it's like the London Underground at peak times (overcrowded and insanitary). And its "revenue protection officers" have a reputation for nastiness - rumour has it they were thrown out of Gestapo training for being mentally unstable.

If you don't live or work anywhere the Metro trams go, though, then it's just a pretty-looking irrelevance and will probably remain that way until expanded to cover a larger area of Manchester. Which, by the way, has not happened - we must be five years on from first production of this article and still not extended to Stockport...

I have to get the "Met", I hate that colloquisim for "tram" everyday to work. I'm lucky that I live near the Bowker Vale stop, and work near the Altrincham stop, so I can use it to commute. It is over crowded, and it is unsanitary. The old trams need a very thorough clean, and the new ones will do shortly. It doesn't help that they're used by a lot of school kids (especially on the Altrincham line) who seem to think that they're a combination of mobile breakfast table and foot stool. The new trams seats are better, but only because there's less of them. More standing room for us cattle class. Although it's all cattle class.

Good news on the new lines though, my missus works in planning and can say for certain that they are building them now. And I can see everyday that they're stress testing old viaducts and bridges near the Victoria depot, and are making good progress on the new Trafford depot. So let's hope they get it done soon.