h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

UCAS is the tool of Beelzebub.

I'll never forget the hell I went through on those forms. I went through at least 6.

I completely panicked that I wpouldn't manage to fill it in without a mistake. I typed the personal statement though, which reduced problems by about a factor of 20 or so

Ha ha. *bitter and sardonic laugh*

I remember trying to type my personal statement. Trying to print it onto the form - now that was a barrel of laughs.

Did you lie in your personal statement? I'd be interested to know. I think everyone I knew lied about something or other. I pretended that I could speak Japanese and that I'd read the complete works of Shakespeare when I'd only done about 5 or 6 of his plays...I guess it worked though

No I didn't, it wouldn't have made any difference if I did, the only place that rejected me didn't even look at the personal statement, in fact they didn't even look at my predicted grades, just what I had managed at GCSE.

I know someone that did lie on his personal statement, he claimed he had friends and that they went to the cinema. Patently untrue on his part, as anyone who met him would realise. He also claimed to be interested in model railways. Not something I'd admit to if it was true let alone made up

My friend applied for an English degree and basically asked me for the titles of loads of books so he could put them on his statement and pretend that he'd read them. Thing is, he didn't realise that he'd have to go for an interview, and when it turned out that F. Scott Fitzgerald was the interviewers favourite author things got a little hairy, because my friend had put that down as HIS favourite author when he'd never even heard of the man.

Hang on, did this guy who said that he liked model railways and had friends actually get into a uni? If a person feels the need to write that they actually have friends on a personal statement, surely that makes them blatantly unfit for going to a university? Especially if they play with toy trains

Yep, he got into Cambridge. Says something about the quality of social life doesn't it

I specifically didn't apply because of some of the people I knew wanted to go.

Yeah, I mean, who wants to go somewhere like that? Where half the people talk with lisps, and wear cravats, and go rowing a lot? It's my personal idea of hell.

Well, either that or having to live in Milton Keynes.

Shhh don't say that last bit to Zed, he likes it there.

Cambridge didn't do my course anyway and I couldn't be bothered to apply that early.

What? He likes it at Cambridge, or Milton Keynes?

I could have got into Cambridge or Oxford, actually. But I didn't want to.

Milton Keynes. Scary isn't it

What course would you have done?

You're right. That is scary.

I would have done History. But that's academic, as I didn't go. Get it - academic. "Academic", see? D'you get it? Ah ha ha.

er, yeah. Anyway, moving swiftly on, what course would YOU have done?

Business Studies/management. You can do post grad courses there I think but not undergrad.

Brgh. Business Studies?

What's that then?

*brain takes a running jump out of left earhole*

We sit around for the first year doing sub-A'level maths, economics, computing and business modules then get the p*** taken out of us by all the engineers. And we get lots of free time for h2g2.

I think things get a little harder later on, but hopefully more interesting too

I wrote an article http://www.h2g2.com/A299333 about the course at my uni

Hmm, it sounds a bit like what we English students do. We sit around for the first year waffling about poetry, deconstructionism, postmodernism, marxist critical theory and Frankenstein and get the piss taken out of us by seminar leaders.

I have three essays to do! Yay!

Three? Is that all?

Why, how many have you got?

(8 outstanding is my personal best )

Oh outstanding, that's another matter. I had six to do in the four weeks before Easter including two due on the last two days which didn't get started until the wednesday . None since thankfully, I've enough problems with exams at the moment.

Oh, exams. A ha ha ha. I was worrying about them but my English seminar leader told me yesterday that you'd actually have to try your hardest to fail if you were going to.

So now I do not care. It's a good place to be.

We have been told that the lecturers don't like to fail us, so a little quick revision immediately prior to the exam usually suffices to get a decentish mark Which is why I am spending time here instead of buried in books in my room like some of my friends