h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here's a tip I heard a long time ago but works wonders.
When preschool children get to the age of having an opinion they want to express it. They have not, though, got to the point of recognising a cleverly constructed argument.

This means that you can give them the feeling that they are making choices while at the same time guiding them to actions you want them to take.

E.g. Don't say, "Do you want to go shopping?" if you must go shopping - they may say no and you end up with a tantrum (from them or you) and a lot of wasted time.

Do say "Shall we go to the fruit shop first or the cleaners?" They then have a say in what they are doing but the end result for you is that you go shopping with a happy child.

Sneaky!
do you work in Sales at all? That's the sort of question phrasing that I learned on a telesales course once.



However, there are occasions when children just have to accept that what mum/dad says has to go.

Surprised you don't know that one!! I use it with my daughter all the time .... well the 2% of the time she's not in total control!! Daughters know how to wrap Daddy round their little fingers!!
SBE

Quite right too! We learn at a very young age that Dad is at our beck and call - and nobody else's

My youngest is 13 now and we are in a real negotiating stage with a lot of him saying "Why should I?"

Being the brutal sort of dad I am I wait for the opportune moment when a favour is being asked (a lift to the cinema/friends house etc.) and say, "Why should I?"

I then crack and give in but it does help later on in answering his "Why should I?" question.

SBE: since I attended the telemarketing conference I use that type of negotiating with everyone every time I want to ask a question and need a particular answer.

My hubs knows I do it, because I told him: and still he doesn't spot it until I tell him (after the event). I have used it on the Gruesome twosome since they were tiny.

Vestboy: the "why should I?" has started in our house where the anklebiters are only 6 and 7. And I'm afraid I'm the horrible type of mum who says it right back to them whenever they want/need something from me. Which, given their ages, is very often.