h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a terribly exciting place with lots of people and trains and stuff.
It also has an elevator going up to a good shopping centre, although I can't find anywhere that sells dried milk, which is what I really want.
It has a small internet cafe, and (at least, in sight of the internet cafe) Morelli's Cappuccino, Thorntons, Suits Plus, Sock Shop, Austin Reed, First Sport, Nicklebys, Clinton Cards, Foot Locker, Arc, Speedy Pizza Co, Go Bananas and a Halifax. And a lot more but I can't see them right now.
The internet cafe charges £1 minimum and then something. It has a nice fast connection.
Sit on the side nearest the cappucino; the other side is near a shop playing a looped tape of really cheesy jazz.

In all the times I've walked through there I've never seen an internet café! Shows how much one can always learn about one's own home town.

Of course you have, Internet exchange, big place with computers, outside Druckers.

But you forgot the best bit of New Street Station - The cookie stand! mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Druckers? Then perhaps we're expanding to include the entire Pallisades complex. That'll be why I haven't seen it.
Good call on the cookie stand. Got to agree there!

B'ham New St. is also one of the country's biggest rail bottlenecks.

Whoami?

Yup.
I've always been grateful for getting on or off there, and never having to go *through* it!

Technically, only the East end of New St is the worst bottleneck in the country (in case anyone gives a damn, 2 and 3 are the through parts of Leeds City and Cardiff Central respectively). There is plenty of capacity left on the line out towards Smethwick/Hamstead and a little on Cross-City South.

Yeah, but most trains come through the station starting one end and leaving the other - so that degree of technical accuracy is perhaps a little superfluous. Although it would explain why it always seems to be *my* trains that are running late...

Whoami?

Isn't it always the way!

My theory always used to be that, as Birmingham is more or less at the centre of the British rail network, you've got trains coming from all points of the country - West and East Coast of Scotland, Yorkshire, Lancashire, North Wales, the East Midlands, London and the South Coast, South Wales, and the South West - and there's bound to be delays somewhere in the country which are going to be passed on to trains going through Birmingham which then cause a knock-on effect to half the other trains going through Birmingham...

I think the only way around it would be to abolish Birmingham entirely, which would be a bit draconian if you ask me...