h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I thought it would be amusing to start a thread for the sort of ridiculous complaining letters that appear in these papers.
How's
Dear Sir, I would like to complain about the lack of bungalows in Harlow....
Which was recently in ours...
As if the editor has anything to do with it...

The best (worst?) example I've seen of a fatuous letter written to a newspaper was one I saw in one of our locals.
If I tell you it was penned by the local representative of the National Viewers and Listeners Association, that might tell you everything you need to know about its content.
But what cracked me up was that it was long; someone had obviously spent a lot of time writing it and thought they had a valid point to make.
The problem was that it was written very badly. It rambled, it repeated itself, and every paragraph ended with an exclaimation mark. It represented uncorroborated folklore as 'fact' and made much use of 'common sense' (which in my experience is either not common or not sense).
Sometimes I despair

Lack of bungalows in Harlow? Hahaha. I guess I can see where he's coming from, though I bet he doesn't even live there, probably got himself a nice little bungalow in Little Hallingbury or something...