h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...Whisky, just as I remember it.

The pegs used in the bung hole are called spiles; a soft spile while the beer conditions and then a hard spile once it is in service.

Driving the tap into the tap hole can be quite exciting, especially if it's a lively brew and the spile hasn't been removed. It takes a good eye and an assured blow with the mallet to get the tap to break the specially weakened plug and then to seal the hole. You don't usually get a second chance either.

When I was doing this the cleaning solution we used was called 'Metzo'. Even a trace of it turning up in the beer produced serious diarrhoea and since the cellarman was always given the first pint he was very careful to rinse the lines thoroughly.

The occasional spoiled cask could be returned to the brewery since they accepted that, as the beer hadn't finished the brewing process when it was delivered, sometimes it would turn out to be undrinkable. This was called 'ullage'. Certain publicans would top up an empty cask with those discarded 'top' pints (after cleaning the lines or standing overnight) as well as the contents of the drip trays and return it as ullage. This is known as 'naughty ullage'.

Thanks for the reminiscences. A great entry.

F

Yep, great entry Whisky

I used to work Sundays on my own in the last pub I worked in and hated changing the barrels for the lagers especially. If you don't get it right, you're hit by a jet of gas from the barrel - quite often with the dregs too! Ick!

Good bit on real ales too - there's so much there you probably have enough for a second entry, but I'm not criticising!

Brilliant entry Whisky

It's been a while since I worked in a pub, and it was only for about six months so I didn't get to learn as much I'd like to have learned. I worked in a pub that served both cask and keg beers and which had no cellar because it was on the banks of the Thames, and the river flooded the towpath by up to three feet twice a month The 'cellar' was a shed at the side of the pub which was air conditioned to cellar temperature.

I do recall when changing the cask barrels - even when keeping the same beer on a pump (it often had guest beers), the manager would pull a couple of pints of water through the line before hooking up the new barrel - reckoned it reduced the frequency of line cleaning he had to do.

I really miss working there sometimes On busy days it could be absolute hell - six deep at the bar, no clean glasses, everyone wanting something to eat (we had a really good menu and a big kitchen), no ice left in the ice maker, and no chance for taking a break during an eight hour shift. But the regulars there were real nice folks and I got to know them well - it's a great job being a barman in a pub that has good regulars.

Thanks guys... As one of my many different jobs I spent a couple of years running the bars of a hotel in the Lake District - lousy hours, lousy pay but there again I did get to live there for free!


To bring up a couple of your points...
"Driving the tap into the tap hole can be quite exciting"...

Oh Yes! Many's the time I've either hit myself with a ruddy great rubber mallet or alternatively covered my shoes, legs and most of the opposite cellar wall in beer


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"changing the barrels for the lagers"

Stouts are worse... far stickier

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"I worked in a pub that served both cask and keg beers and which had no cellar because it was on the banks of the Thames, and the river flooded the towpath by up to three feet twice a month "

Heck, the hotel bar I was talking about has a cellar floor approximately 4 feet _below_ the bed of a stream running just outside the door... There was a sump pump to keep the water level down but when it broke down the whole cellar used to flood.


Glad you enjoyed it by the way

Good stuff! I wish all cellermen were like you Whisky

Gosho, I should hope he cleaned the lines in between casks, as it is likely that sediment may have been pulled through the line at the end of the last cask.

Beer shower! one of my cellers chiller broke down, and the beer continued working in the cask and built up pressure.I was moving a cask, the keystone gave way and shot past my ear followed by a jet of beer that hit the ceiling and rained down on me, still good for the hair.

Oh yes, I have noticed up here (Scotland) Pubs are taking beer in Pins (4.5 Gallons) as they can't sell enough to have Firkins!

is beer really good for your hair, Toc?

Whisky, perhaps I'm lucky enough to live in the "ideal world" you describe!
Although it's not my NEAREST pub, the one I travel across town to patronise is situated AT THE GATES of Robert Cain's Brewery and is called - for obvious reasons!! The Brewery Tap.

http://www.cainsbeer.com/

Here the products can be savoured at their VERY BEST

- and you can SEE the piccies as well!

A cracking entry, written by someone who clearly knows his way around beer.

I'd like to know under what circumstances a keg of real ale lasts for 'three days', though. At my local, where they always have six temperature-regulated stillages in various stages of tiltedness behind the bar, I have seen the devoted regulars clear a barrel (Skinners' Cornish Blonde, if I remember rightly) in 150 minutes flat.

B

in summers in the backyard under a garden umbrella alone or with company fill up the long glasses tilt them and pour the golden cool liquid and just relax

'Parently a beer rinse is a good hair conditioner, but I'd still rather drink it

Does no-one but me remember those ads in the Saturday paper for Linco Beer shampoo? It came in a barrel shaped container Looks like you can still get it, though sadly not in a barrel

http://www.westons.com/acatalog/Online_Catalogue_Linco_Beer_2371.html

Forgot the link