h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Goths really need sub-dividing.

I've observed the following variants and suggest these names:

Marilyn Munchkins: Marilyn Manson wannabes. Biko necklaces, long chains, REALLY badly applied eye-liner, greasy spiked hair and tattered clothing featuring stripes (generally for the girls) and jumpers. Also some dayglo "Cybergoth" accessories. Oh, and lots of leather and stud bands.

A recent variant featuring faux-military uniforms and ultra-short skirts has appeared, this type might be dubbed "Marilyn Mobsters".

Cybergoths: Hybrid of the Goth and Techno/Trance worlds. Skin-tight clad ultra skinny and with lots and lots of synthetic hair and goggles. Likes clothing by CyberDog, SDL etc.

Goffs: As a standard, but bouncier and a tendency to pink fluffy things. Typified by the phrase "Evil needs candy too!"

Siouxies: Old-school 1980s style goths. For her, corsets, black lace and velvet, maybe some PVC and leather. For him, tight black trousers, flouncy shirts and point shoes. Big hair all round.

Crows: Combat boots, black jeans or combats, trench-coats and T-shirts

Neos / Trinities: See "The Matrix"

There are numerous other variants observed, but these are the main ones.

As a member of the over-18 Goth community here in the North we've started to adopt a new term for young (say 14-15) adolescents who believe themselves to be fully acquainted with the traditions.

This term was invented/discovered by a friend of mine now at University, she referred to them as 'Pokémoshers' as these people were the same ones who were the most tightly gripped by Pokémon fever at its peak.

Real quotes from pokémoshers include

"I like goth bands, like Slipknot"

"I love Alice Cooper, I've heard all her songs"