Too Many Moons - Part 2
Created | Updated Apr 5, 2007
Part 2
I stood there for a second, slowly mulling this over my head.
'What the heck. There is no way I would attack my brother,' I said after my memory kicked in. And yeah, I forgot to mention that the governor of the universe is my brother.
'No,' said the judge, 'isn't it true that in the year...' he squinted at the screen with the eye in the front of his head (the judge is a teachen, a species that evolved from teachers before we made automatic smart caps. They had an eye in the back of their head to see what kids were doing. Unfortunately they had to loss one of their front eyes to do it, so there vision isn't that good front or back) '... that in the year 000000001 you rumpled him to the ground and gave him...' he squinted at the screen again '... a wet willy,' he finished in a serious tone.
'What! We were only five then,' I said. (All the immortals were made five years before the universe was created. As we grew up it was really boring. I still don't know who actually created the universe, but they most have had a bleak sense of humour.)
'So you admit that you attacked him?' said the judge with a stupid grin.
'Yes, we were five! And he had cheated,' I said. This is so stupid. I was so young then, I still thought that pi went on forever.
'Now you accuse the good governor of cheating!' the judge yelled.
'Yes, he never played by the rules. We were playing chess and he was using the queen as if it could move like a knight,' I said with a little bit — just a little bit — of childishness in my voice.
'Do you have any proof of these accusations?' asked the judge. How the heck can someone evolved from a teacher be so dumb?
'Yes, if you ask him, he would admit it,' I said. 'I hope,' I added under my breath.
'Well, we can't. He is on a peacekeeping tour on Gamma SF Single. How convenient for you,' he said in a very accusing voice. (Accusing voices are the one thing teachen can do well, so they use them as much as possible.)
'Well, I didn't know. I have been in the rural systems for the last couple of years,' I said. Actually, I did know — I had just forgotten. I'm the one that wanted him to go on the tour, so I could get away from him.
'Why were you there? Were you running away from the law?' said the judge — in, you guessed it, an accusing voice.
'No! I was just... messing with some planets,' I finished in a whisper.
'So you like breaking the law?' said the judge.
'No! No! I never broke the law before that,' I said.
'No, you want us to believe that you turned bad out of the blue,' said the judge. I didn't like how this was going.
'No, I just needed to blow off some steam,' I said. 'My girlfriend had just broken up with me.' (That was a lie. I never had a girlfriend. The only ones that want to be mine just want to get in good with my brother. That's the problem with having popular relatives.)
'You had to blow off steam for four years?' asked the judge.
'Yes, she was very nice and I liked her,' I said.
'What was her name?' he asked.
'Uh... Tonya.'
'Tonya? Where is she?'
'I don't know. She just left a note saying she... uh... was going to the fifth dimension. She said that would have gone earlier, but it costs a lot of money to go there.' Then for good measure I made tears run down my cheek. I did this by thinking of getting warped again.
'I am a teachen, Francis; I don't have feelings.'
'I don't believe that, Judge,' I said, trying to flatter him.
'Flattery won't help you.' Dang, I forgot that teachen can sense when you try to manipulate them.
'Sorry,' I said.
'I bet you are,' he said. 'Well, with all this new evidence, I will need to deliberate again.' Then he turned around for a moment. 'The jury has come to a conclusion. I sentence you to 2.3 seconds in the infinite paradox sphere and 4000 years of probation.'
