h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just wanted to pass this on for those who haven't seen it

The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days." Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that ... The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4 = 50, where E is the absolute temperature of the earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says "But the fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
-- From "Applied Optics" vol. 11, A14, 1972

There are a few mistakes in that prove:

1) The absolute temperature of the earth is 300 K, not -300 K. Absolutes temperatures can't be negative. However, this error has no effect on the equitation (H/E)^4 = 50.

2) Isaiah 30:26 says "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days". Is says "sevenfold, AS the light of seven days", not "sevenfold the light of seven days". (This is even clearer in translations of the Bible in other languages.)
The equitation should be (H/E)^4 = 7 + 1 = 8.
The absolute temperature of heaven is 504.5 K, thus 231.4 °C.

3) The boiling point of brimstone in Hell is not known, since we don't know the atmospheric pressure in Hell. (Or can you find a Biblical reference to that?)

Herrrrmmmm.... You don't need a biblical reference.... just a few Satanic friends and you can phone up Old Goaty Legs....

So, if you do have a few Satanic friends and you can phone up Old Goaty Legs, please try to find out.

So that we finally can calculate Hell's real temperature, and compare it to Heaven's.