h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right, pay attention. Global warming is caused by carbon compounds in the atmosphere, right?

So where is all the earth's carbon? Life? OK, a bit. Oil and fossil fuels? Yeah, less and less. Seawater - quite a bit. Atmosphere? too much!

But most of it is... in the rocks. Mostly, in limestone and chalk. And how did it get there? Shellfish. Meaning various forms of life that turned co2 into calcium carbonate for their shells.

That should give us a clue.

Plants are OK at absorbing carbon from the atmosphere, but then what do they do with it? Only turn it into cellulose, lignin and stuff that can be decomposed back into CO2 by microbes. Unless they happen to live in a swamp. And then, they only do it in the day.

But shellfish - well. They are turning carbon from decomposed stuff into..well...shells. And, several hundred million years later, what do you get in limestone rocks - shells! With their carbon intact as Calcium Carbonate. And they do it 24/7.

So to combat global warming, there is only one option - eat Oysters folks, eat Oysters.

Furtlefinch.

'Ar is a word
Ahar is a sentence.'

Well, not eat 'em. Just let 'em go forth and multiply.

No,no. We have to eat em and chuck the shells into our middens (wot, not got a midden yet?). That way more young 'uns will grow faster and remove more CO2. Furtle on, brothers.

How come nobody thought of this before? I'll do my part!

i wouldn't stop with just the shellfish,ALL sealife should be wiped out.I know you're probably thinking'were is he going with this?' but bear with me-the world is heating up and sea levels are rising so why don't we take all the fish,whales,dolphins and crabs out and it should fall a little bit therefore saving low lying areas for a bit longer
-webby