h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had a colonoscopy recently and it was without doubt the worst physical experience of my life - and I've previously broken bones and had other serious illnesses. It felt like someone was rooting around my bowels with a garden spade and I was literally screaming by the end of it. As the entry mentioned, it's a choice (usually the doctor's) between simple sedative and full anaesthetic. I've since discovered that this is typical only in the UK and Ireland. In pretty much every other western country, the norm is to put the patient to sleep because the procedure is at the least very distressing, but often very painful.

Also, worthy of note, the clearing of the bowels that is required before the procedure flushes out all of the good bacteria in your digestive system. After a colonoscopy, it's very important to take pro-biotic yoghurts and such for a week or so afterwards to restore those bacteria. I wasn't advised of this and had a dodgy tummy for a couple of weeks afterwards until a friend of mine who had previously been through this mentioned the bacteria thing to me.

Thanks
I'll get that added to the Entry - I wasn't informed of the importance of that either, but I normally eat probiotic yogurt.

If you can bear to read it, take a look at my Colonoscopy journal, but you'll probably freak. I was the last patient, and I heard the anaesthetist tell the doctor in the corridor that he had another appointment (it was 5:05pm) and he was leaving. I heard the doctor say it was OK then they came to get me. The doctor performing the colonoscopy attempted to put a cannula in my right wrist (failed) back of my right hand (failed) got annoyed, came round the table and jabbed it into my left arm, strapped it in, and put in 3 doses of rohypnol. (I was laid on that side). I heard everything that was going on, I was even having a conversation with the nurse at my left side. The pain was so bad I was yelling for more anaesthetic, and the nurse and doctor both said I had had three lots and couldn't have any more. I yelled some more then felt it pulled out, the doctor said he couldn't work under those conditions. I was wheeled back to the ward and a nurse came to take out the cannula. I told her that I had been conscious throughout and it was very painful. I was quite upset as you can imagine. Even she gasped when she saw the state of my arm, he had missed the vein so all the stuff had gone under my skin. At home I took a photo of the bruise, there's a link in my journal. I won't post it here unless you ask to see it.

*coughs*

The doctor wrote to my GP saying the procedure was unsuccessful () and he'd ordered me to have a barium enema. I had that on Monday. You don't get the option of anaesthetic with that, because you have to keep turning and changing position. I'll write that up, soon. At least that technician was super, very attentive and thoughtful and told me everything that was going to happen. I'm stillnot back to normal, because the barium has to come out

Ballynac that omission has now been rectified, check the
"Afterwards" sectionand thanks very much.