So merry meet of traveler of time and welcome to the office of The_Jon_m, Turner of Egg Timers for the h2g2 Society of Time Travellers

I have a feeling that whoever had this office before me was into his timing experiments cause the far corner stinks of sulfur. There is a vast library of scrolls written in ancient Chinese by a rather arrogant Irish Monk in the middle ages detailing the perfect method of turning a timer, which if anybody wants to read, they are more than welcome to delve thought he bookcase.

Some people think it is a bit ironic (In a non-Alannis way) that I, The_Jon_M, Master of Jacks Trade, who does not eat eggs is in charge of turning Egg Timers, but I ask you, am I not the best choice, for I have no interest in rushing the egg, therefore am more reliable and less likely to be responsible for a mass poisoning.

In another far corner is my amazing collection of egg timers, some 20ft tall, some not. I got given most of them as a pay off from my time working at the Old Royal Observatory Greenwich, where I accidentally wandered into the room that contains time. Fearing that I may come back and steal some for my own personal amusement, I was banished and given many Egg Timers so that I will keep the secret of the rooms location.

Anyway, come in, take a seat (I have just been to Ikea so the sofa is quiet comfy). Chat away, BUT DO NOT TURN THE EGG TIMERS.