h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What would an entry on Insults be without a reference to the classic mighty pirate sport of insult swordfighting? Insult swordfighting originates from the stunningly funny (and still family-friendly!) Monkey Island adventure games by Lucasarts. The sub-games generally take the format of one of the characters (either the computer opponent or the player) choosing as dastardly an insult as they can find and the other attempting to come up with a clever and relevant riposte. In the third game of the series, The Curse of Monkey Island, the formula is spiced up by the additional requirement that the responses rhyme with the insults.

I now present an example from memory...

Insult: "My attacks have left whole islands depopulated!"
Reply: "With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated."

*cue humourous swordfight animation*

How appropriate. You fight like a cow!

Great dialogue in an animated feature (I think it was Eldorado) during a swordfighting scene:
"You fight like my sister!"
"I've fought your sister. I consider that a compliment!"