h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You forgot to mention the pleasure that comes from contemplating some really remarkable male physiques. Apart from that I find watching wrestling very therapeutical, once my thirst for wanton violence is quenched I'm the sweetest so and so around. Actually i have come to regard pro-wrestling as a safe outlet for destructive instincts precisely because Wrestling is "fake". Boxing i find far too brutal, anyone who's seen Vladimir Klitchko demolish his adversary will know what i mean. The athletic feats of the wrestlers are real enough, no matter how funny the trousers or hair they wear.
Great contribution this, thankee!

Good point.

There's also something to be said for the various catchphrases that professional wrestlers use. The theraputic value of the old DX crotch-chop, or Booker T's "SUCKAAAA!" should not be under-rated.

I've become fond of saying "I have just one word for ya" in a real deep voice... which is following in the stomp marks of the greatest tradition. When Philip II of Macedon sent the Spartans a letter threatening to raze Sparta if he captured the city, the ephors sent him back just one word in reply: "If".

The Spartans had a way with words. I believe a similar thing happened during WW2 - a German general gave some Americans a chance to surrender and their response was "nuts".

It's interesting, the way that Pro-Wrestling writers manage to grab the public's imagination with a good catchphrase. For example:

"And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!"
"It doesn't matter (add what doesn't matter here)"
"THE most ELECTRIFYING (whatever) in Sports Entertainment today!"
"You will never....EEEEEEEEEEEEEE - veerrrrrr....be the same again...jerky!"
and of course, the immortal
"WHATcha gonna do when Hulkamania runs wild on you?"

I'm wondering if these are sort of evolutionary developments of the battle-cry. Certainly, they help the crowd to identify with the wrestler...but are they more than simple marketing?

Either way, there might well be another Guide article in here.

Oh it's true.
It's true.

"This is a game that you don't want to be in!"

"Play this game and you're gonna get hurt."

"When I get that sick, when I get that twisted, I will love every second of it."

"Shawn, you and I have had quite a past together, my friend, if you do not call this match the way it should be called, I can guarantee you that you will have no future."

"Rocky, Judgment Day, you and me, Iron Man Match, 60 Minutes, Rock, lets find out who the man is!"

"You better know your damn role, Rock!"

"First of all Rock, I passed an old lady in the back on the way up here, she says she wants her jacket back."

"Oh you can cheer but he won't come. Even Austin is smart enough to know when to stay away."

"Kane, you're probably sitting in a hole back there, shaking like a leaf. I can't very much blame you. I wouldn't want to get in the ring with me either."

"Kane, you've got 10 seconds to come to this ring...10...9...8...(to audience) Shut the hell up, I'm trying to count...7...6...oh to hell with this, I'm coming to get you."

I AM THAT DAMN GOOD

So he is.

YES, YES, YES! another contribution please! Should you need more Game quotes you sure know where to turn by now!

yes the game is that damn good but he`s also friends with
"who betta than kanyon"

actually they were in the same hospital.same doctor and became friends.

don`t miss stone cold at all.prefer the game ,bradshaw and of course
KANYON

Now where is the outcry against violence on tv?
When's this entry going to be picketlined?
It's entitled to that, you should complain!

I have been picketing this entry for weeks but no one seems to have noticed.

Well if the activists don't show up soon, we'll have to rant ourselves What about that post on catch phrases in wrestling, is it in the pipeline? Will you bring it out, or will i have to come and get you?

Want to collaborate on the entry? I have some ideas but it'd be good to get another POV.

ok, you are by far more knowledgeable about the subject, but like you say, maybe the POV of a mere watcher and enjoyer might provide an additional element. Would leave the lead to you for starters, and take it from there?

Well, the article is under way.
I'll post a link thingy when it has a little more structure...but who should we include?

Givens are:

Austin.
The Rock.
Jericho.
Hulk Hogan.
Triple H (naturally).

That is a very good selection i think , we might start out with those. Then see if we include one or other later, like maybe the Wolfepack, even thought the WCW is gone?

Would we want to discuss gimmicks as well? Dark fantasy is one of the standard themes forever cropping up, Sting "SHOWTIME!", Undertaker, Brood, Vampiro, Raven. Or would that be taking it too far?

Just a few thoughts, until i know the concept.

That gimmick thing spawns another thought entirely...

Antiheroes in the media, from Elric to "The Man With No Name" to Batman and so on. We could happily include The Undertaker, Vampiro etc in there.

Hmmmm.

Are you always this inspirational?

A794306

that's the article number for this work in progress.
It's rough for the moment and I would really, really appreciate your thoughts.

very good start indeed i've begun making some comments directly to the article forum, will go on as i think of something

Did anyone manage to get to Wembley for Summerslam in (I think 93). It was the setting for the showdown between Jake the Snake and the Undertaker. I went under protest and loved it. The Undertaker came out in a hearse, the old fashioned ones, with Paul Bearer driving. Eighty thousand Brits went wild. Survived two DDT's, took inspiration from the urn and poor Jake was body-bagged.
The Undertaker actually spoke beforehand, but he made Rambo look like Patrick Moore. I think Jason bit the dust too. When your six eight and a man-mountain you don't need psychology if you arrive on the back of a hearse.

I didn't. I have seen that match on video and I really enjoyed it.

'Taker is 6'10" by the way. And Jake Roberts, who is apparently no working on the UK indie wrestling scene (and working stiff, by all accounts) is one of the guys who transformed the art of cutting a promo. In a time when every other wrestler was shouting and gurning into the camera, Jake the Snake was calm, cold, collected and subtle.

On the subject of great matches: The "Loser Leaves" match between The Ultimate Warrior and Randy Savage is sheer genius. If you can get a hold of it on video, watch the reaction of the crowd as Savage gets his old flame Miss Elizabeth back. And there's some fantastic storytelling during the match too.

Yeah, you're right about Jake being subtle. His acting abilities were of a high standard in comparison to most. I think it was because of people like him that WWF veered off into big storylines off stage.
I maybe wrong but I think the first major story that ran parallel to the action was the one involving him and The Ultimate Warrior. Warrior had been mentally scarred by The Undertaker and Jake was 'rehabilitating' him. At the time Jake was one of the good guys. Every week we had an episode of this 'from a secret location'. Of course it ended up as a trap, Jake was in with the man in black (who had still not publically spoken at the time).
But the whole shenanigans had been a huge success and it all became part of the overall package. I also think it was the first time that the goodies and baddies starting going over to the other side.