h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

CHOCOLATE IS A VEGETABLE

Chocolate is a vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Beans = vegetable.

Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category.

Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So chocolate bars are a health food.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: how to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution? eat it in the car park.

Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

REMEMBER: "Stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."

Cocoa beans are fruit. Thus, chocolate is not an excuse to leave your vegetables.

They sell dark chocolate and light chocolate. Why don't they sell assorted as brown scale chocolate?

There are enough fetishists to support (ahem) the control top industry with or without chocolate.

JTG