Cracking clay, Gromit!

Plasticene is a kind of modelling clay - essentially clay and oil plus dye. For many years it was regarded as completely inert, although its spontaneous metamorphosis from a rainbow multitude of colours into a uniform shade of brown when nobody is looking has always been a source of speculation.

But then, out of the blue (or in this case the brown - Chas was the blue one), there came Morph¹. Originally a segment within Vision On², Morph started in 1976 and was produced by Peter Lord³ and David Sproxton, under the banner of Aardman Animation.

Nick Park (one of the Aardman team who created Morph) continued to explore the potential of plasticiene-based stop-motion animation and in 1989, with a risible budget, started work on his short film A Grand Day Out, the first Wallace and Gromit⁴ adventure. And it was successful. So successful that actual money was spent on the successors, The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave. But plasticene actors were not receiving the recognition they deserved. In an attempt to head off plasticene rights marches⁵, the Motion Picture Academy of America awarded Oscars to the latter two films.

Plasticene is now seen as a mainstream material for manufacture of Hollywood leading actors, and is known to create a more lifelike result than the now seriously outmoded Roger Moore.

In the interests of completeness, here is the arcana to invoke plasticene (Note: US gallons and such):

10 lb microcrystalline wax

1/2 gal. #10wt oil

4 lb plain automotive grease

25 lbs dry clay powder (Such as Kentucky ball clay)

Melt wax, oil, and grease together in an (electric?) frying kettle or chip pan; stir clay in slowly once melted. Pour into shallow microwave-safe plastic containers, or into a wet plaster mould.

In fairness I would say that I use the following alternative recipe:

- Take 1 Early Learning Centre (Toys 'R' Us will do in a pinch)

- Ask assistant where the plasticene lives

- Add sufficient "Pounds" (or Dollars, Yen, Dinarii or other currency) to be allowed to leave the building unaccompanied by gentlemen in blue serge suits.

You can choose plasticene in a rainbow variety of different colours, all of which will transmogrify into brown if not adequately supervised.