h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Marvelous entry! I'm glad to see that there are even more uses for coffee tables than simply providing a haven for coffee.
In our home the coffee table is also used as a place to display our (quite alive) pet cats. They serve a dual purpose by 1) Being more entertaining than most cable channels while 2) protecting our soft bellies from t.v. radiation.

I've recently constructed my own coffee table after the success of my guitar case and tea trolley and was considering painting the top in special blackboard paint so that it might function both as a coffee table and telephone message board. Maybe I could jot down things I will intend but will probably forget to watch on television at the start of each week. Anyway. Anyone wishing to do the same must remember this important thing: before varnishing or otherwise sealing the top surface of your table, use it for a week or so in a very messy way - lots of cup rings, leaky teapot marks, shoe-rubber scuffs and so on. These can then be preserved by varnishing over them - thus will guests never feel guilty when their uncoasterèd mug leaves a mark. Thus may coasters and placemats be banished from the world for the evil they are.