h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The agony of being a Chicago Cubs fan can be compared directly with being the fan of any team from Houston, Texas. Houston, Texas is the fourth largest city in the United States, behind New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago. Houston hosts a professional baseball, basketball, and football team as well as the University of Houston who plays several sports at the top Division 1-A level. Nearly all of these teams, at one time or another, have been some of, if not the best, in the entire league.

The only problem is that, no matter how good they are, teams from Houston are destined to break your heart. Since 1994, when the Houston Rockets won their first ever NBA basketball championship by the narrowest of margins, Houston has been affectionately refered to as "Clutch City." In fact, the mascot of the Houston Rockets is a large bear affectionately named "Clutch."

What the ousider may fail to realize however, is that "Clutch City" is largely an attempt to mask what sports writers had been referring to Houston as for the last 50 years. Namely "Choke City."

A few highlights:

1992: (American Football) Houston Oilers vs. Buffalo Bills

Affectionately known as "The Comeback" by the folks in Bufallo and never spoken of ever again in Houston, the Oilers' high-powered, run-and-shoot offense that sported nine Pro Bowl players managed to rack up a 35-3 lead in the third quarter, only to completely blow it and fail at their last, best hope of finally reaching the Super Bowl. As a nice insult to injury, this game precipitated Bud Adams' moving of the team to Nashville, Tennessee where, renamed the Titans, they promply proceeded to get to, and almost win, the Super Bowl.

1984: (Basketball) Houston Rockets college draft

In 1984, the Houston Rockets used their #1 overall draft pick to draft Hakeem Olajuwon, who looked to be, and became one of the top players in the NBA. The only problem was that lying around until the #3 pick was Michael Jordan, the greatest basket ball player of all time.

1983: (College Basketball) University of Houston Cougers vs. North Carolina State

In 1983 the Houston Couger basketball team, a band of god-like basketball players affectionately referred to as the Phi Slamma Jamma Fraternity went 31-3 throughout the entire basketball season, and were thought to be one of the greatest college teams ever assembled. Until losing the final game, at the buzzer, to 15th seeded North Carolina State

Houston Astros (in general)

From foolishly chasing away Nolan Ryan, one of the greatest pitchers of all time, in 1988 to their astounding string of playoff appearences where Houston enters with the best record in the league only to be eliminated in straight games, the Astros break our hearts with the best of them.

But in 1994 and 1995 the Rockets finally won their championship and gave heart and a new name to their much beleagured but loyal city. So take heart Cubs and Red Socks fans, your time too, will come.