h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nervously passes over the enormous key to the vodka fountain. Asks Samson to keep an eye on Ginger. Warns Samson to be wary of female hairdressers bearing gifts

What's wrong with Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.

I believe you can buy draft Bass over there.

Shame! I liked the name bootle of dog.

Ooh Goodie! And I have a big strong hunk to look after me! Might have to dive into vodka fountain and wallow for a few hours in order to catch up with the rest of you!

Whats wrong with it, replies the Gigglysquonkindementia, why it has no Friday, by the way has anyone seen my legs

And magicaly, Teqila bottles fall from the sky drifting slowly to the earth swaying beneath the parachutes.
Limes are raining down. Sea salt rises from the ground. Shooters anyone??

I'd say YES
Magically nachos, with guacamole, salsa, and sour cream, appear in front of everybody.
A mariachi band starts playing.
A group of Inca's grab Obscure and tanke him to the top of their temple, flashing ugly looking knives in the air.
Obscure trys to persuade them that he is no virgin, they do not care

Marv the Grate holds up the Mescaline pipe and says " Hark Leave Obscure Alone. He Is A Keeper Of Alcohol, He Must Be Spared. Take A Toke Off This Instead."

The Inca's stop, and take a pull on the pipe, suddenly flowers grow thought their nostrils,and they start doing the tango.
Fred and Ginger appear to lead the way.
Obscure thanks Marv, by giving him a large marguerita, well iced, and a handful of jalapeno peppers that have been pickled in vodka.

Marv throws together a Gin and Tonic and gives to Obscure. Yells Toga and grabs a sheet.

Casper the friendly ghost gasps loudly. Places hands strategically way out in front of genitals.

Marv sheepisly hands sheet back to Casper, then mixes him a drink.

oh dear

9 vestal virgins stop by looking for their missing member, the virgin formally known as Obscure

Casper is politely, yet forcefully, told that he's the wrong kind of spirit for this gig.
Whereupon Casper whips out a blender, a bunch of bananas, and a keg of Pussers rum, and proceeds to make daiquiris for everyone.
Obscure promptly puts foot in mouth

And marv mixes the virgins some drinks and starts friendly discussions with them.





SLAP..
Marv reels from the blow and wonders what's wrong about asking them about their virginal status and how long they intend to stay like that.

Upon seeing said daikiris, removes foot and falls over

Marv asks for a raspberry daquri, begs forgivness from Casper for removing sheet.

Caspar forgives, and gives Marv a bucketful of raspberry daiquiris.
Notices a priest nearby handling his rosary nervously.