h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Essential equipment for walking these footpaths are Ordnance Survey Maps, which, among many other things, highlight ancient ruins, standing stones, tumuli, and earthworks which you will pass very near to but never see, and only notice on the map after you've long since passed the places where they were supposed to be. The maps also show the location of nearby pubs which appear to be just a short detour away, but will add miles of uphill walking to your journey if you wish to stop for lunch or a quick pint, and will invariably be closed when you get there, anyway.

For women walkers who can't avail themselves of one of a multitude of bushes along the way for taking care of certain necessities, the pubs present an added danger, for if you do actually manage to find one which is open and willing to serve you a beverage, a few miles down the road you will experience a pressing need to visit another one to make use of the facilities. The next one helpfully marked on your map will always be a long way off, miles out of your way, and, of course, closed.

Having recently returned from a grueling seven-day walk along the North Downs Way (and having progressed at a pace a few degrees below "pitiful"), I can assure you that everything I've said is 100% true. Should you wish to undertake such an adventure yourself, I wish you the best of luck. If you ever do make it to Dover, there's a nice Indian place there you might want to try in celebration of not having wandered off the map or contracted some kind of bladder infection. Have fun!


-- Bluewyvern

Get yourself a horse and (theoreticaly) progress a bit faster to the next convenience...only problem is that if your are deperate to spend a penny, trotting is not advisable!

I ride long distance which I find infinitely better than walking. At least I don't have the potential peril of worn out joints. I can use my GG to screen me from others when doing a pee alfresco!

I have ridden the Pennine Bridleway, Jack Mytton Way and loads of other places and would like to ride North to South Wales sometime. My horse doesn't have shoes, goes perfectly well without a bit and uses a treeless saddle. The only she doesn't do is read an OS map which she leaves me to do!