h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm an Scot of English Ethnic Origin. I was brought up to think of castles as Norman. When I camped in Lochranza (*not* a good idea - the midges will 'ave yer!), I discovered from the castle's information board that it is Norse.

Like a typical Southern Brit, I only knew half of my nation's history. The Western Isles and much of the Western seaboard of Scotland were part of the Kingdom of Norway - until the Battle of Largs (1263).

And then you've got the whole Lord of the Isles thing going on. Basically, all od the Western Isles including the Isle of Man were run by one chief as his private fiefdom. I can't remember offhand, but I think he was a MacDonald.

Just before the Battle of Largs, the Viking fleet anchored in Lamlash Bay on Arran. A few years ago, they discovered runic letters carved into an old cave on Holy Island in Lamlash Bay. An eminent Norwegian historian came over to examine the significance of the find. This expert on all things Viking & Norse examined the runes for a week before triumphantly proclaiming it said "Olaf was here". It was just graffiti from the Vikings on their way to battle

I'm surprised it wasn't labelled a 'ritual object'. That's what they call things when they don't know what they're for.

Yup, dontcha just love Time Team?

Lochranza gets the least sunshine in Scotland, in fact the sun never shines in Lochranza itself. We bought waterproof leggings and then it stopped raining.
If you go on the ferry from Lochranza to the Mull of Kintyre there's no public transport on the Mull for the boats to Islay and Jura. You'll have a 1 hour walk. One word of warning, if you thumb a lift you'll likely get one BUT the local farmers love to drive at breakneck speed and you'll find your head banging against the car roof.
Please note - The small bus on Jura has carpet on the ceiling!
-ps some of the above info may be slightly out of date!
- pps the best way to remove those dreaded ticks is to massage around them with a small sliver of wet soap until they let go. This takes normally 10 minutes but the odd one can hang in there for 30 - 60 mins.

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There is a particularly fierce type of midgie on Arran called "Midgitus Fiercus Buggurus". I once witnessed three of them mug a deer. Two of them held it down whilst the third ripped off one of the deer's legs and beat it about the head with the bloody stump.

There is a theory that they are attracted to exhaled CO2, so the secret is to only breathe in whilst visiting Arran.

We encouraged tourists to take big breaths to help keep the midge population down.

SWLth, what you say may is only half the truth. If you go down to Catacol Bay, along the unlit road from Lochranza, you may see the deer on the beach at night. Perhaps they go swimming to drown those midges?

Far more aggresive are to be found to the east of the Alps, in Austria for example, where you are recommended to get vacinations with boosters and so on if you intend walking in the midge infested areas.

Scottish midges are in truth relatively harmless - you're trying to give them a bad press you SWLth!

I *think* I've had a post modded because I linked to a commercial skincare product that is well known as acting as a midge repellent.

For goodness sake

Hmm. Previously I've been modded for quoting a Little Richard song which is - allegedly - offensive to Italians (although I did check by *asking* some Italians, and they took no offense).

It seems I could get in even more trouble if I quote Chuck Berry's 'Maybelline'.

(Although in this case the unmentionable product name was the same as a river that passes through Stratford and emerges near Bristol).

Some people report that a well-known brand of toothpaste can be applied to the midge-infected area to persuade the mite to let go! The paste has a broad-bricht-moonlit-nicht Scottish clan name (of course) and gets teeth very *clean*! in fact very white

I remember taking the dog for a walk one evening and getting eaten alive by the midgies. Next evening I just threw a net curtain over myself. The dog was a bit embarassed, but I didn't get bitten

We're not doing the North Ayshire Tourist Office any favours, are we?

Nobody on Arran does the North Ayrshire Tourist Board any favours and the feeling is mutual. Arran used to have it's own Tourist Board but it was subsumed by North Ayrshire. Since then, every drop in tourism is blamed on the Tourist Board.

To shed some balance - Arran is the most beautiful island in Scotland. It is also a wonderful place to bring up kids. Class sizes are small, there is no yob culture, crime is very low and people still believe in the concept of a community.

>>Since then, every drop in tourism is blamed on the Tourist Board.

Stuff and nonsense, of course. Compare the prices of CalMac and Ryanair and you begin to understand.

Arran is a wonderful scenic place and Lochranza a lovely spot. The walk from Lochranza to the pub at Catacol Bay is one of my favourites. You can go over the hill in daylight from the distillery path or opposite the pier and come back in the dark by the road. At the aforementioned pub you should order the famous Lochranza Pizza and choose from the 3 or so real ales on offer.
As for midges you'll find more on Jura. Arran is almost midge free by comparison.

i must say arran is a beautiful island
lochranza is a lovely place to visit
i'm going back there again this year
cant wait.