h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I often have the problem of "bashful bladder", the inability to "perform" at the urinal when others are present. In fact, I even avoid going if other people are there, or go into a cubicle. It often leads to embarrassment if someone enters just as I'm about to go, then I either have to wait for the other person to leave, or just give up, leaving without relief! It's particularly bad at a crowded concert or pub, where ten guys are queued up waiting to be next... I know I'm not the only sufferer in the world, but I don't know how common this condition is. Is there a cure???

Well, Arthur, I don't know what use my cure might be for you, as it involves me stuffing my fingers into my ears with a version of the ol' Bugblatter Beast assumption - if I can't hear them, then of course they can't hear me! This worked so well that I don't even have to do it any more. But this may be a little difficult to do standing at a urinal, especially since you can see your fellow man as well as hear him, unless you are willing to use a stall instead. I have no idea what the implications of such an action would be, as I am not that familiar with the customs of this strange land of "Men's Restroom." You could always try wrapping your towel around your head ...