Across the Universe, things were shifting. Things which should have flowed in a natural way now flowed all over the place. Streams that should have gone into the seas now flowed out of volcanoes. Pigs that were walking into sties were now the fuel for the Titanic and the reactions from several nuclear tests were currently flowing out of the buttocks of three very confused business men sitting on bar stools in a pub in Kent. Suffice to say, those bar stools no longer exist. Nor does Kent.

Terry Horowitz was now watching a British regiment from Napoleonic times march up towards his house. Which was quite confusing. But this was under control. Terry was the focal point now in the Universe, a man who was supposed to be dead. And there were military forces moving towards Terry from all over the place.

'What's going on, Beiphlat?' asked Terry.

'We're getting all the military forces of the universe coming our way. Isn't this exciting!' said Beiphlat excitedly. Something seemed to be changing in Beiphlat's demeanour. He seemed more... well, frankly, insane.

Terry stared at him for a moment, until the twelfth British Para regiment collapsed through the roof. They gibbered for a few seconds and disappeared through the floor like ghosts. And then appeared outside in the courtyard, as if nothing had ever happened. The 16th Island of Flamingo gorilla regiment from the 25th century ate part of the upstairs bed, while an American Sherman tank division made a mess of the farmhouse across the way.

In short, odd things were happening and they appeared to involve the military. The Universe had decided that Terry Horowitz needed an army.

'The Universe has decided that you need an army, Terry,' said Beiphlat, paraphrasing the author.

Terry just gibbered for a few seconds. Mostly because, unknownst to Beiphlat, his lower jaw had disappeared for a few seconds. It had then reappeared, along with a chimpanzee in the corner who was hitting it against the wall. Then the chimpanzee had disappeared and the jaw had returned to his face, albeit rather sore!

Since commanders of armies shouldn't be seen to be gibbering (that's only something they're allowed to do 100 miles from any action in a concrete bunker half a mile under ground, which is their more natural position), he decided to strike a pose. Looking at the huddled masses of military might who were gathering outside the nice scenic country house, he, in a rush of madness, decided to run to the upstairs window, fling it open and announce himself to his troops.

'Soldiers of the universe!' exclaimed Terry Horowitz, 'I am your leader.'

One of the gorillas farted and the rest of the regiment applauded. Apart from that, you couldn't hear a pin drop.

'Where's the grub?' yelled a member of the high order of the morbidly obese death squad of Internet gamers from the mid-21st century.

'What?' a bemused Terry replied.

'Yeah,' said a commander of the armoured Martian mountain-hopping brigade 'and we haven't been paid for months!'

Some of the light infantry from the 19th century, losing all sense of military command structure, enthusiastically agreed, 'Pay! Not seen that for a long time.'

The commanders of the armies were getting a little concerned as they began to see discipline fall apart. Some light scuffles were breaking out between some of the groups which immediately saw each other as enemies. Spartans were attacking representatives of Mussolini's Italian regiments. The Spartans were winning! And with over 2,000 years difference in time between them! World War II German infantry versus the Atlantean honour guard. The SAS versus the mushroom cloud order of the 15,800th millennium.It wasn't good.

Terry, looking on, suddenly lost all the enthusiasm and saw the chaos below. How could HE be a commander? he thought sadly.

A thudding of a foot on the ground shook him out of his despair. Even with all the chaos going on, you couldn't help but hear this noise. It was only a foot pounding on the ground, but it was a big foot. It was a very large, muscular, battle-scarred... green alien. Just the sight of him was enough to draw your attention and fear. The fact that he was virtually roaring and looked mightily angry, too, drew just about everyone's attention. Also, Terry knew him.

The beast was surrounded by a number of other people, Terry noticed. Then his eyes lit up. Talia! His mind screamed. Then he did. 'Talia!'

It was the whole group, the Callacks, where he'd first met up with Talia and where he'd met some strange woman who was apparently an alternative version of his wife...

All of it made his head hurt, so he thought of Talia again. She looked up at him. 'Terry!' She ran in to the house to find him.

The beast was now flanked by two of his human-looking officers. 'I am Revo Recma,' he boomed, 'and you will listen to me.'

Sometimes saying 'you will listen to me' is a cue for people not to listen, but there was something very disturbing about the way he said it that conveyed all in the few words he'd said — that if they didn't listen, bad things would happen. Probably to their intestines. And the next time they saw them he would likely be using them as a skipping rope.

'We are all in grave danger,' he continued. 'A group of creatures known as the Blieg are invading our universe. There are sinister forces at work and if we don't work together,' he emphasised, looking at certain groups which had been fighting, 'then we are all doomed! But do not think that not trying and dying will give you an honourable death, because you will cease to exist. Only by joining forces under that man up there,' said Revo Recma, indicating Terry Horowitz at the window, 'can we hope to win.'

Terry did his stance again, but for some reason with Talia at his side it seemed more impressive.

'Now, I've fought along side this man. He is brave and will lead us to victory. So listen to him now!' finished Recma.

There was silence. They were all waiting in anticipation. Recma had wound the crowd up for Terry; now he had to deliver. But it felt right. Terry looked solemnly at the crowd.

'You have all been taken from your homes, the times that you know and the causes you have come to fight for. But this is a greater cause than any you have ever come across before. For survival — not for ourselves, not even for our families — but for the right for existence of all creatures. I speak to the leaders of your regiments to use your soldiers for the greater cause. Join our army and fight for the greater cause — life!'

He looked around. He could see they'd listened. He was shocked: how did he come up with that? But they were still expectant. They wanted something else. Thankfully, Recma intervened. 'Okay,' said Recma, 'you heard the man. Now into orderly lines, we need to number our strength. Commanders, to the house here on the right.'

Terry released a relieved sigh, as if for the first time in his life things were beginning to make sense. He hugged Talia and went in to the house.

'I knew you had it in you,' said Talia and kissed him. Terry smiled and nodded. 'I'm glad you did.'

Someone outside the door indicated that Terry was needed, and the wheels of the machine started to move.

The Legacy of Terry Horowitz Archive

Terran

18.05.06 Front Page

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