h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I suppose my question is as follows..
Do I have a right to be angry that the private school my son attends did not spot my son's dyslexia and it was his mother who sent him to see an Educational Psychologist to have her belief confirmed.
WE are meeting with the Head in September and we are not really sure how to tackle the issue without upsetting the applecart so to speak.
My son will be going in to Yr 5, the most precious year approaching his 11+ exam. Why was he not diagnosed earlier and why was it up to us to get help? WE have been paying all this money for his education and feel that his learning loss my never be overcome??

Posted Aug 1, 2005 by fabfabclare
I suppose my question is as follows..
Do I have a right to be angry that the private school my son attends did not spot my son's dyslexia and it was his mother who sent him to see an Educational Psychologist to have her belief confirmed.
WE are meeting with the Head in September and we are not really sure how to tackle the issue without upsetting the applecart so to speak.
My son will be going in to Yr 5, the most precious year approaching his 11+ exam. Why was he not diagnosed earlier and why was it up to us to get help? WE have been paying all this money for his education and feel that his learning loss my never be overcome??

Hello! LeoDreaming here, and I was touched by your problem.
You see, I believe you do indeed have a right to be angry with the school!
When my son was in grade school (age 5), he began to exhibit "behavior" problems.
I went around on my own, trying to sort this out and get a proper assessment of the problem.
As a divorced, working mother, the time element involved was often difficult to juggle, and I turned to the school adviser for help.
To make a very long story short, the advisor promised to work with my son to discover what was going on.
She advised me to stop running around to different specialists, and allow the school to evaluate him.
So for the next few months, other than my weekly visit to the school, I allowed the advisor & her staff to sort out the problem.
Upon a surprise visit to the school (they didn't know I was coming), I discovered that their "solution" to the problem of my son's behavior was sticking him in a corner with writing materials.
After checking with the class aide, I learned that my son had sat in that corner for almost 4 months, only leaving when I was expected to visit, while his mates received their lessons.
I had a great deal of anger as well as guilt about this situation.
What I ended up doing was filing a formal complaint against the school with the Education Department, and removing my son from the school permanently.
I quit my job, went on the dole, and after months of searching, found a school that assessed his condition as 'emotional instability' and 'learning disability'.
He spent his entire educational years at the day program of the school, and graduated with honors.
Today, upon meeting him, no one would ever suspect that he had any traumas as a child.
He is a bright, intelligent, hard-working husband & father, and I couldn't be prouder.
A side benefit of this terrible situation, was that I decided to go to Graduate School, to obtain my degree in Social Work.
I was determined that I would do what I could to help other families, so that no other mother or father would suffer as I did, alone, fighting for my son's future.
I acomplished this goal once all my children were in college, and completed my degree in 2001.
Don't allow anyone to dissuade you from the path you believe is right.
Our children deserve advocates, and we as parents, are the first (and, often the best) advocates they will ever have.
Good luck!
L. D.
(My Mission: To bring a touch of warmth & color to a cold, drab world)

That amazing, and inspirational how determined you were and how well you managed to turn the nasty situation into something from which success could blossom. I am worried however that schools get the blame for problems they dont deserve. In the second case, the one with the so called "help asessment" consisting of a corner and writing material, i am in full agreement, that the school is to blame. However i think your initial approach of contacting the school was the right one. With regard to the first case ( the person who started the conversation ) i think contacting the school with this suspicion is the right course of action. I they refuse or simply fail the address the situation then by all means take the situation into you own hands and feel free to be angry. Schools have resposibilities to the best interests of the kids.

Please dont get too mad at schools though, they have to look after alot of kids, and they are teachers first and foremost not counselors or professionals in the field of emotional instability or learning disorders.

Jack ( a student, thankful that my high school years are over, but understanding that the schools most often simply do the best they can.)