A Conversation for Bluffing Your Way Through an Art Gallery

Dressing for the Art Gallery

Post 1

Barneys Bucksaws

You didn't mention the most important thing about going to a gallery, especially if you know nothing about the art, or just hate Artsy-fartsy types and want to have fun at their expense.

For a female, dress in the wierdest things you can find. An example: a skirt that isn't short, long, or knee-length, about mid-calf is good, best in a big globby odd coloured print. An uneven hemline is a nice touch. Under it an underskirt of indeterminate colour, showing below. Baggy socks that wrinkle down at the top of beige work boots, but the boots shouldn't look too new. Top this off with a baggy globby-print sweater, that doesn't match the skirt, a raggy shawl over it. Wrap something around your head to hold back your hair, and you're set. You'll look as flakey as the artist.

Granted, my only experience is with small galleries, so this look would be a bit much for a large or famous one.

Thanks for the art-speak. I was never very good at it, and tended to just nod and agree with my son, who, though an artist, doesn't talk-the-talk unless someone p***es him off. Then he's just disgusting!

Dressing for the Art Gallery

Post 2


What you wear is not in the entry as, no matter what you wear, no-one will question it incase it is the lastest style that they haven't heard about yet.

No-one wants to be seen as to not know the latest treads.

Dressing for the Art Gallery

Post 3

Mr. Christopher, enjoying the Magicians Guild game where he is called Polonius Franc, Elder Healer and local merchant

For men, an almost sure way to get through galleries is to wear a white shirt and a dark vest, and on the vest a strange-looking pin/badge. Slick back your hair, wear glasses, and chuckle at everything you see. Turn every question about the art into a boring story about the life of some dead person. Most people will assume you work for a museum. I have done this and it works. Whenever someone tries to corner you, wave to a strangely dressed woman across the room (they almost always wave back), say you're with her, and then slip away into the night.

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