Through the Doughnut Hole
Created | Updated May 28, 2003
... and now ladies, gentlemen and others, please put your hands, paws, fins, goinks1 together for another Through the Doughnut Hole!!!!
Hey everyone let's eat a
mole...and sit back and enjoy another Through the Doughnut Hole!!2
The First Half
My Personal Assistant Blotto has informed me that this week we have a jam packed show3. Take a bowl of guests, add a splash of tenacity, a dash of earnestness and a sprinkling of humour, stir vigorously for 10 minutes and you have the means to success. The recipe that is Through the Doughnut Hole.
Okay enough of me, lets get on with what I know you have all been waiting for, if you remember last week this important question was asked.
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My first guest this week is someone I am sure you are all familiar with, please give a big round of applause to Jodan who started this conversation.
Who influenced me most? Easy. Benedict Arnold. Yes the famous traitor of the American Revolutionary War. You're probably wondering why.
'Why would you be influenced by that scum?' I hear Americans say, 'I remember
that name, but can't place it...' I hear everyone else say.
I'll tell you. If you can get paid for betraying your country, then why am I still spelling it
'color'?
Could be a controversial choice, but hey its yours. Must be nice though to have an egg dish named after you, though not so nice being known as a famous traitor!!!!
My second guest on this weeks show I think you will recognise, I shan't call him a show regular as he doesn't recognise himself as such, it is of course Deus Ex Machina who in the same conversation said....
To go for a double-header I'd have to say myself. (I've been a little self-centred lately
.)
Otherwise, I'd have to say Mr. Douglas Adams himself! His views of 'life, the universe, and
everything' are quite entertaining- yet they also make you think.
Ah finally, someone with almost as big an ego as myself, so refreshing... and of course who
else but the great DNA himself if yourself isn't available.
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My third guest this week is a very regular contributor to The Post and I am very pleased
that he has decided to come on this show. He needs no further introduction, it's Demon Drawer in this conversation
Quite possible on my early life my Grandfather was a great influence on my
life. He was an inspirational character with a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. His
funeral when I was only 12 was well attended and many of these people I did not know.
Later my athletics coach was a major influence not least because I took up his sport. And
very nearly his record as well.
Now find my political colleagues a great influence but conversely I seem to have an influence
on them. I reckon that as you get older you no longer are so greatly influenced by others as
much as start to influence others in as reciprocal arrangement.
Being both influenced by and be an influence to people is the best of both worlds. It must
be incredibly gratifying to know that we brought something special into the lives of people we
know, and sometimes people we don't know...
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My fourth guest this week is someone who I admire greatly, it's, Dr Deckchair Funderlik in this conversation
My influence, my guiding light, my tutor, my leader, my role model, and in
some ways my nemesis, is, of course, BBC television celebrity chef Gary Rhodes.
Gary, with his spiky hair and cheeky grin, has shown me that there is more to life than two
hotdogs stuffed into some bread and covered in ketchup. He has made me realise that there is
nothing abnormal about wanting to stuff a pheasant full of ricotta cheese. And no one can tell
me now that filling jam jars with custard is a sin against reason.
I keep a life sized poster of Gary in my room and I right my favourite recipes on his sleeves.
I get my hair cut just like his too. I met him once near Chelmsford Safeways. He was
surrounded by security and screaming fans so I couldn't get close enough to ask him for an
autograph. But he spoke to me telepathically and said that he was teaching the aliens on the
planet Venus how to make cucumber sandwiches. How noble of him to teach aliens how to cook!
He is an inspiration to us all.
What better role model could there be than Gary Rhodes, and it's so nice of you to share
your preference with us... Very bold in fact, and to actually admit to meeting him and wanting
an autograph... WOW... Though I am not sure it is a good idea of his to give Venusians any
inkling of what to do with a cucumber... makes me shudder just thinking about it!!!
My last guest on this weeks show is someone who I accidentally whilst in conversation
poked
in the eye this week, it is my good and dear chum DoctorMO
who in the same conversation said....
There is really two answers here, if say the total none accumulative
influence
was to be answered it would have to be myself, I see no other person more willing to guide me.
If we are talking accumulative it would have to be my parents in various rolls, how certain
things have transcended into myself I can not tell, but I know they must
have.
Ah another vote for themselves being the greatest influence on their lives, but nicely
averted by a second nomination of parental influence. I have no doubt that most us will have
found that our parents have a certain influence on our formative years. Even if several would
say that they have no desire to be like their parents... thus influencing them to be
different.
The Second Half.
It's always good solving those little problems that perplex us isn't it, makes you feel
better and that all is right with the world. That is until you think up an entirely new question
to perplex yourself with, and the idea of having to think up a question to perplex yourself
with is perplexing in itself. So to save you the bother I shall come up with a new question for
you to solve, or deliberate over, and maybe another article just like this one but with
different words will spring forth from The Post and onto your computer screens.
So today's question is... roll of drums...
life?
Fond memories of the excitement of opening a Christmas or birthday parcel and finding the
thing you most wanted in the whole world inside. Maybe an unexpected gift given by a friend
or loved one. Perhaps something that was not given but you regard as a gift, because it is
something you will treasure forever. Tell us all about it in a conversation below. As before I
will use whatever facts, information or silliness in a future Doughnut Hole.
Of course you can also enter into any of the conversations featured on this page.
Extra Time
So that's it for this week, everyone back to the green room. Hmmm getting quite full in
here, we shall maybe have to move the statue of myself from centre room to one of the
corners. See you all next time, same Post article, same post channel!!!
This weeks article is brought to by The Post and a dodgy car salesman from
Manchester.
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