Towel Day 2: The Log
Created | Updated May 16, 2003
This is a collaborative log due to the fact that I was working until 20:00 hours on the day in question 10 May 2003. So if there are any errors or ommisions attendees only have themselves to blame.
- 12:00 Zagreb arrives1. Nobody here.
- 12:05 EV arrives and is accosted by Zagreb. Breakfast is
ordered. - 12:30 List of Turkish statesmen inaugurated.
- 12:45 Food consumed. Still no other attendees. Concerned.
- 12:50 VRHG and Jamie arrive.
- 12:55 Sir Mort arrives.
- 12:57 Table hunt is begun!
- 12:59 Table hunts ends. No table bagged.
- 13:14 Larger table vacated by elderly ladies.
- 13:15 Above table pounced on by hootoo researchers.
- 13:21 'h2g2 towel joke' inserted into portrait of Walter Scott. 'Panic ye not, sir' etc
- 13:35 The 80s are tragically discussed.
- 13:45 Meet takes a 'political turn' as the buffoonishness of Donald Rumsfeld is discussed.
- 13:54 Swedish Comedy is discussed.
- 14:01 Robert Louis Stevenson's 'good' name dragged through the muck of sexual innuendo.
- 14:05 Jamie alludes to 'arch neo-feminist' plot regarding kilts.
- 14:09 Fashion Cat and 'Fashion Cat's Brother' Alex show up.
- 14:18 FC tells EV to get on his hands and knees.
- 14:27 FC's towel comes to life and attacks Zagreb.
- 14:35 FC claims that German comedy is good. This is met with
disbelief. - 15:03 FC's bro eats ice cube. Not impressed.
- 15:20 Nizzy arrives.
- 15:27 Nizzy drags the conversation down with 'cheese toastie' comment about ageing prostitutes.
- 15:40 Mort has her suspicions confirmed - the Scottish Researchers' Group are all mad.
- 15:53 Nizzy insults whole nation by claiming that Haggis is
'French'. - 15:54 Bagpipes come from India.
- 15:58 EV wets his pants due to FC.
- 16:32 FC claims that men are not needed in the world.
- 16:41 Researchers discuss jobs they do.
- 17:07 Near accident involving taxi.
- 17:11 Researchers do a hostile take over of tables at Logie
Baird's. - 17:16 Logie Baird's declares EV can't get no Stella.
- 17:33 Zagreb claims ketchup is a good lubricant2.
- 17:45 Nizzy sprays beer over table as Zagreb tells tale of English Batman.
- 18:00 Nizzy calls Scotland
3. - 18:05 Alex finds warning on cigarette packet that smoking can cause impotence.
- 18:12 Jamie sends text message to unsuspecting Ford's wee sister thinking he's texting Fords.
- 18:28 VRHG confused.
- 18:34 Names explained. VRHG reckons he struck gold with H2G2. Well...
- 18:45 VRHG finishes explanation!
- 18:47 fords wants *bleep*ing beer.
- 18:58 fords calls the Greeks 'slimy stavros
b******s'4. - 18:59 FC prodded in the side by researchers going 'Ni!'
- 19:10 FC loses hair band. Seaching ensues. Search is
unsuccessful. - 19:20 Paper plane throwing breaks out.
- 19:30 Everyone one agrees that they should wait 20 minutes before going to Pizza Hut.
- 19:32 Pictures taken of fords touching nose with tongue.
- 19:51 FC's bro chooses h2g2 over cinema. TIME FOR FOOD!!!
- Time unknown at sometime while crossing the bridge lost carries FC's bro for ages in a firemans lift.
- 20:25 DD decides to lose bit on the side and turn up.
- 20:40 fords spills creamy white stuff on herself and claims it's for her mouth!
- 20:45 FC's bro and VRHG get 16 inch Pizza (Groovy!).
- 21:24 VRHG finds out he has bigger breasts than fords.
- 21:37 fords shows picture of an a**e on her phone.
- 22:30 Possie moves to Henry Beans where drinking continues.
- 22:50 VRHG gets ice cube down FC's bro's boxers.
- 22:51 FC's bro beats VRHG in keeping hand in ice copmpetition.
- 23:00 Mort chats to doorman about sad anniversary of DNA's death.
- 23:15 Mort goes home - doorman had remembered.
- 23:40 FC's bro Strips.
- 23:41 Mort (eventually) goes home.
- 23:42 Last order? ALREADY?! This is Scotland for s sake!!!
- 23:47 EV, DD and FC engage in a threesome. fords looks on
enviously. - 00:01 EV's birthday officially starts with rousing chorus of Happy Birthday
- 00:02 Toast to DNA - long may he continue to inspire.
- 00:05 FC's bro and fords play ';fingers' (like footsie) with the Prez of Zanzibar (FC's towel).
- 00:06 Women at the bar looks at FC's bro and Zagreb as they play with the Prez. Comments and pointing.
- 00:10 VRHG is upset when La Ketchup's song is played by the DJ.
- 00:11 Whigfield 'Saturday Night' starts. DD points out it is now Sunday morning. Ignored by DJ.
- 00:13 VRHG screams and covers ears as Sweden's greatest export start singing Dancing Queen.
- 00:15 VRHG, FC, EV and DD start miming.
- 00:15:30 VRHG and EV transmute into Laurel and Hardy.
- 00:16 Jamie tries to do an 'Eggy'5 but no nosebleed. Told to try harder.
- 00:20 DD starts reciting. Any guesses what? (Clue: This is Towel day after all).
- 00:22 Log become's um, water logged, it loses its, erm, virginal, new look.
- 00:30 The Elvios Tribute band hits the town. Is anymore info needed? Let's be honest it's worse than the YMCA song earlier.
- 00:35 Tom Jones causes mass spillage.
- 00:40 Ice fight as the guys try to cool down from Tom then Lady Marmalade...
- 00:45 Fords requests Steps Tragedy and the DJ complies.
- 00:47 FC's bro states he is totally pissed out of his skull!!
- 01:00 Log is saturated. DD hopes he can read it on Monday as Frank Sinatra brings the DJ's evening to a close.
After this nothing was added to the log however the evening was not over.
- Researchers are shipped in DD's car to fords' flat.
- Researchers try to post to Mort on hootoo.
- Crate of Miller is ordered.
- Video of BBC VT outtakes and funnies is watched.
- At some point after 03:00 DD, EV, FC and Fc's bro leave for
home.
1At Standing Order, George Street, Edinburgh2I shuddered again as I typed this.3Why Nizzy was not ejected from the group at this point I do not know.4Apologies to all Greeks who may have just read
this.5Stick two straws up his nose to draw blood.
this.5Stick two straws up his nose to draw blood.
