Featuring:

• Odo, representing Newport.
• Dolt, representing Swansea.
• Math, representing Cardiff.

...Namely to try and arrange a meet-up in a pub literally yards from the Millenium Stadium on Welsh Principality Rugby Cup Final day. Hence, we met up with thousands of Llanelli and Newport fans before finding each other (thanks largely to Master B's h2g2 T-shirt), at which point Math was so overcome he had to step outside for a breath of fresh air.

Deciding the Prince of Wales pub was perhaps not the most convivial of hosts, the four intrepid explorers ventured round to the bus station before somehow managing to con Cardiff Transport out of a free trip to UCI bowling.

After much confessions along the likes of: 'I'm not very good at bowling', we coughed up the requisite monies, and asked the girl behind the desk if she would input our names for us, as it was obviously too complicated a task for an engineer, two scientists and a librarian. Herein lay the first pitfall: Odo, not having quite familiarised herself with everyone's names, decided to refer to Dolt as 'John' for the rest of the day, despite the fact that his PS quite clearly tells all and sundry that his name is Rob. Bowling shoes were affixed, and beer was bought.

Unencumbered by (much) alcohol, Master B won the first game with a surprisingly competent score of 125, to Math's 90, Odo's 56, and Dolt's 44¹. After this we were forced off the lane by a group of vicious 8-year-olds, and retired to the bar to drink beer and host the traditional h2g2 Meet-up quiz.

Diplomacy was the watchword as Meet attendees were instructed to 'Please bring 5 General Knowledge questions with you'; odd, but at least it guaranteed everyone 5 points. If you wish to take part in the quiz at home, write your answers on the back of a postcard, then tear them up, throw them in the bin and go out and get some fresh air:

Math's "Largely Extracted from Random Edited Entries" Round

1. Who wrote 'The Importance of Being Earnest'?
2. What is triskadekaphobia the fear of?
3. What sport is played on a piste 14 metres long by 2 metres wide?
4. What was Babe Ruth's full name?
5. What calendar has a 'pictun' of roughly 8,000 years?

Dolt's "Closest One Wins²" Round

1. How many inches are there in the CNN tower?
2. In what year was Finite Element Analysis first so called?
3. What is Dolt's Researcher number³?
4. How many registered Researchers were there on h2g2 at 9:58 on May 3rd 2003?
5. How many buses are there in two Millenium Domes⁴?

Odo's "Nicked from 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'" Round

1. What colour was Custard the Cat in 'Roobarb and Custard'?
2. How many eyes are there in a standard pack of playing cards?
3. What would you find living in a holt?
4. Which European city has the largest number of inland waterways?
5. Who wrote 'Wind In The Willows'?

Master B's "Hurriedly Scribbled on the back of a Beermat" Round

1. In 'So Long and Thanks for all the Fish', what was God's final message to his creation?
2. Which Footbal League team is nicknamed The Spireites?
3. How many bottles of champagne are in a Magnum?
4. Who was the lead singer of Duran Duran?
5. What would you mix with brandy to make a 'Sidecar'?

Totting up the final scores gave Master B as a convincing winner with 15/20, with Math and Dolt joint second on 8/20, and Odo last on 6/20. If anyone is really desperate to know any of the answers, pop round to my PS (unless they're Dolt's questions, in which case go to his).

The prizes for both bowling and quiz arrived in the form of an h2g2 goody-bag from Mina, in a Jiffy bag the size of Rutland. In generous mood, Master B turned down his free T-shirt and mouse mat, having just received plenty of goodies from the caption competition⁵, in favour of a 'gift-set' (one of every colour) of pens.

Having first thrown a pen into Math's beer, and then skilfully tipped it down Master B's T-shirt, we decided we were obviously drunk enough for another couple of rounds of bowling.

The alcohol consumption was reflected in markedly lower scores, Odo winning a closely-fought second match with 78 to Math's 76 and Master B's 75, while Dolt languished behind on 33.

Odo's 'hop, skip and jump' bowling method failed to pay further dividends with a lacklustre 45 in the final game, as Dolt stormed it with 91 (higher than the aggregate of his first 2 games!), with Master B on 82 narrowly pushing Math into third with 81.

After cadging a quick photo from the long-suffering bowling attendant, we decided to break for home quickly to avoid the rugby crowds. The final beers were drunk and a taxi hailed as we said fond farewells⁶ and made our separate ways home.

A good time was had by all, and resolutions were made to plan the next Meet around local sporting events and kids' birthday parties. Many thanks go to Dolt for organising the whole thing and to Abi and Mina for all the goodies.

From left to right: Odo, Master B, Math and Dolt

08.05.03 Front Page

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