h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I got directions to my friends new flat in the centre of Aberdeen:

"From McDonalds (FYI McDonalds is in the middle of the city centre - the least likely starting point for someone travelling from OUTSIDE the city) head towards that pub that we sometimes go to but before you get there turn left, but that might be a one way street I'm not sure. Go as far as the lamppost, go left again and it's around about there."

It was a one way street, or at least I found a one way street. Aberdeen is a city full of lampposts, I don't know if I found the right one. I eventually gave up and made him come and meet me and resolve to never give directions again.

Was the friend female? I find that males cannot give directions to females (and vice versa). Good directions must be a combination of landmarks instructions and distances. Also landmarks visible in daylight may be invisible at night, and illuminated signs are switched off in daylight.

Of course, the most important starting point in directions is "Where are you now?" or "Where are you coming from?"

That reminds me of the old story of the English family driving in Ireland (stop me if you've already heard this one).....

They were lost and stopped to ask directions to Ballykissmybutt (or some such place). The local yokel so requested replied -

"If I were you, I wouldn't be starting from here." !!!

(Apologies to members of the H2G2 fraternity from the Emerald Isle)