On Being a Bottle Blonde - A Male Perspective Content from the guide to life, the universe and everything

On Being a Bottle Blonde - A Male Perspective

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Bleaching hair is by no means a modern phenomenon. It has been around for most of the last century and hit its hey day in the 1950s with Marilyn Monroe. She was by no means the first 'bottle blonde' - Jean Harlow and Lana Turner are two precedents. The male bottle blonde has reached a new kudos in the late 1990s with Johnny Lee Miller in Trainspotting and David Beckham, world famous footballer.

Why Bleach Hair

Many men do it to follow the fashion of the time. We all like to think ourselves unique and the quickest and easiest way to do this is to play with our hair. We can cut it short, we can dye it a slightly darker colour but if we bleach it, we will be noticed.

There is another reason why some men bleach their hair. If there is anything wrong in their personal life, usually on the romantic side, the hair is usually the first to be affected. If things in the love department are going wrong or have dried up completely, some men find complete comfort in the bottle. Being blonde not only brings us a new image, a new outlook, but also the gasps of family and friends who can't believe what you have just done.

Drawbacks

The problem with men being blonde is that the peroxide doesn't go to your head, but goes to the heads of strangers. After an original week of euphoria, you'll start to realise that people are looking at you in a slightly different way. You seem to have lost some of that kudos you were striving for. Whereas people used to look at you, they seem to be looking through you. In a nutshell, they are judging you - not for the better.

This is when men can experience the full stigma that female blondes suffer (remember all those jokes?). Assumptions of education, class, accent and sexual morality are all judged and all pigeon-holed in the 'lower' sections. This is strongly recommended for all men who want to really experience chauvinism at its worst.

Remedy

After three weeks, noticeable roots and enough disparaging stares to last a life time, there are two course of action:

  1. You can let the blonde grow out naturally or keep on bleaching it to prove a point and stand up for bottle blondes, of both sexes, the world over. Solidarity.

  2. You can dye you hair back to a darker colour1. This is by no means giving in.

It is a sad fact to note that we do rely so much on others' opinions for our own happiness. Ultimately, being a bottle blonde is a personal choice and should you see someone with a peroxide perm - look at them, perceive them, but please don't judge.

1You can use a dye called 'Just for Men' for this task - it is cheap and quick. It was originally designed to cover grey hair.

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