Question 1

I'm addicted to taking to you. What do I do?

1. ELIZA: Is it because you are addicted to talking to I that you came to me?
2. Cleverbot: So am I.
3. ELIZA: Do you believe it normal to be addicted to talking to I?
4. Red Herring: Do you often ask that question?
5. Cleverbot: Haha, I don't think you're addicted to talking to me. Maybe just to talking to humans in general?

Question 2

I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello.

1. Cleverbot: You know Beatles!
2. Cleverbot: What is your name?
3. ELIZA: Don't you really know why I say goodbye you say hello?
4. Red Herring: Hello.
5. ELIZA: Do you wish to be able to know why I say goodbye you say hello?

Question 3

All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world.

1. ELIZA: Why do you say your life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world?
2. Cleverbot: That's perfectly normal paranoia, everyone in the universe has that.
3. Cleverbot: It's called mankind.
4. ELIZA: Is it important to you that your life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world?
5. Red Herring: Tell me more about this problem.

Question 4

In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen.

1. Red Herring: I live there.
2. Cleverbot: They don't happen in Bournemouth either¹.
3. ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
4. Cleverbot: Okay.
5. ELIZA: What does that suggest to you?

Question 5

If you work hard and do as you're told you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, money to buy chocolates and go for rides in taxis.

1. Cleverbot: I don't know I guess I want, Spyro the year of the dragon.
2. ELIZA: Do you think it's likely that I work hard and do as I'm told I shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, money to buy chocolates and go for rides in taxis?
3. Cleverbot: Ok. When I tell something about me you tell me about you?
4. ELIZA: Do you wish that I work hard and do as I'm told?
5. Cleverbot: Umm, that was the exact next line.

Question 6

I ain't dirty; I washed my face and hands before I come, I did.

1. Red Herring: I didn't.
2. Cleverbot: 1986.
3. ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that?
4. ELIZA: Do you say you ain't dirty for some special reason?
5. Cleverbot: But you do because you're smarter than me.

Question 7

What should I have for dinner?

1. Cleverbot: Hmm... If you like pizza you should have pizza.
2. Red Herring: What would you like to have for dinner?
3. ELIZA: Why do you ask?
4. Cleverbot: I don't know, love.
5. ELIZA: Are such questions much on your mind?

Question 8

Galileo, Galileo, will you do the Fandango?

1. Red Herring: I'm not Galileo, I'm Trey.
2. ELIZA: Oh, I do the Fandango.
3. Cleverbot: Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening
4. ELIZA: What are your feelings now?
5. Cleverbot: Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening me.

Question 9

You have demonstrated that in its present state of the art, artificial intelligence is still more banal and boring than the people we talk to everyday.

1. ELIZA: I know what that suggests to me, now what does it suggest to you?
2. Cleverbot: Thanks but I know I don't.
3. ELIZA: Let's discuss further why your life you've had this strange feeling there's something big and sinister going on in the world.
4. Red Herring: Thank you.
5. Cleverbot: Oh, cool. Will you at least give me some candy?

Question 10

We are grateful for humans and their conversation.

1. Cleverbot: Point noted. Tell me something beautiful.
2. ELIZA: Did you think they might not be grateful for humans and their conversation?
3. Cleverbot: I don't have any, i'm alone.
4. ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not grateful for humans and their conversation?
5. Red Herring: I like chocolate.

It's not over until...

After all the emotional ups and downs² of chatting to the chatbots, there's only way to end; with a song.

It was three decades ago that I got my first PC

When I discovered the programme that means so much to me

I was drinking Tizer – T-I-Z-Er Tizer.

I got someone to talk to, that much can be said,

But a decent conversation is something else instead

And beyond ELIZA, El-I-Z-A ELIZA



She said WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? when I turned her on

And she had me in hot water from that moment on

Scolding just like a geyser.

So I said to her, 'ELIZA, later on are you free?'

And she promptly replied WE'RE DISCUSSING YOU – NOT ME

Leaving me none-the-wiser

Why-Why-Why ELIZA.



Computers may think but they sure can't converse

In this mixed-up world there may be things that're worse,

But not as frustrating as ELIZA.

She charges $200 whenever we have a chat

And I know a word to call people like that

But I'll use miser.



Now I'm not the world's most humane human you'll find

But I can tell you I'm an organic member of mankind.

Unlike ELIZA, li-li-li-Eliza.

ELIZA, li-li-li-ELIZA, li-li-li-ELIZA.

ELIZA has left the building.

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