Blonde Jokes - Part II
Created | Updated Dec 15, 2009
She was so Blonde
- She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
- She thought a quarterback was a refund.
- She tripped over the cordless phone.
- She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
- She told someone to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".
- She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
- At the bottom of the application where is says "Sign here", she wrote
Sagittarius.
- If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
- When she heard that 90% of all crimes were around the home, she moved.
- She got an AM radio. It took her 9 months to figure out that she could
use it at night.
- When she saw the sign in front of the YMCA, she said, "Look! They spelled
Macy's wrong!".
- She stood staring at the frozen orange juice because it said
"Concentrate".
More Blonde Jokes
- Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
They're too hard to re-train.
- What do you call 9 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
- Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter.
- What's the definition of eternity?
4 blondes at a 4 way stop.
- Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
"Toe goes in first".
- What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios?
"OH LOOK!!! Donut seeds.
- Why don't blondes make ice-cubes?
They can't remember the recipe.
- Why did the two blondes walk into the hospital?
I don't know - you'd have thought oone of them would have
seen it!
- What do you call a blonde with a brain-cell?
Gifted.
- What do you call a blonde with two brain-cells?
Pregnant.
- What do you call it when a blonde blows into another blonde's
ear?
Data-transfer.
- What do you call a blond standing between two brunettes?
A mental block.
- What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
An interpreter. - Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours. - What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
"Thanks for the refill!"
- Why don't blondes eat bananas?
They cant find the pull tab.
- Why do blondes have more fun?
Because they don't know any better.
- What's dazed, confused, and lies on the ground next to the broad side
of a barn?
A blonde bat.
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all
brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team
rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a
great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything
from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches
the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring
straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of
them with white knuckles.
She says, "What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand
time downstairs!"
One of the blondes looks up and says, "Yeah, but you've got a
driver!"
A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how
many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for
your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy.
So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but
she had 2 rolls leftover.
"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."
John got a call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.
"I've got a problem," says Buffy.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of
the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.
"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."
He went to Buffy's house and she greeted him by saying,
"Thanks for coming over." Buffy led John into her kitchen and
showed him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.
John looked at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For
goodnes sake, Buffy, put the corn flakes back in the box!"
So Long, And Thanks For Laughing |