This is a Journal entry by HighGuildsmanMerc

Friday

Post 1

HighGuildsmanMerc

I am worried about my medication. I don't think it's working very well any more. perhaps I should talk to the doctor again. I would, but it's all complicated with whether i'm actually registered any more.
I am becoming paranoid that i might be Schizophrenic. I don't know what to do about that. I keep reading all kinds of stuff about it. sometimes i hear voices. not loudly, more background stuff, repeating the same thing over and over whilst i'm thinking about something esle. I also get thought disorder (i think that's what it's called) I frequently can't concentrate on things and have hazy thoughts, that dart about all over the place so that people can't really keep up.
I don't know if i'm only being paranoid though. Before i was diagnosed with deppression i thought i had Manic Deppresion. The doctor has decided that i don't, but the general explanation of clinical deppression doesn't seem to explain everything.
Sometimes i have such clarity of thought. And logic will lead me in crazy circles, or to wierd conclusions. yesterday i wrote that if i consider myself to be real i must consider the people in my head to be real too. i won't go into that now, but G K Chesterton said that it was those who thought most logicly of all that were in asylums, they had logicaly convinced themselves of untruths and driven themselves mad.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I will have to talk it over with my councillor, and then maybe i'll go see the Doctor again. I don't want to make a fuss, but i want to know what's going on in this stupid head of mine.


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