HighGuildsmanMerc (the craziest cat you've met in a while(unless you live in a mental institution)
er, yea. I'm not crazy. it's just everyone else has a different perception on reality than i do, that's all, no big deal. (i make a big deal out of it, for reasons i havn't yet identified. i will go on about it) I'm not one of those stupid people that actually want to have a mental dissorder to have something to moan about or whatever. I just like to be different. obviously there are moments in my life when i just wish i was like everyone else, but most of the time my goal in life seems to be to be different from everyone else. pretty stoopid huh? One thing that is wrong with me is that i have depression. i wish i didn't. i have probably had this for a long time, but i only went to a doctor about it a few months back, and now i'm on anti-deppresants.
i just started at Uni, so they sent me to see the councillor, and now i have and appointment with her every week. she's really nice. I worry about her because she has to hear about all the crap in my life, and probably loads of other peoples crap as well, how does she cope with that? She tries to direct my thoughts, but mostly i just end up waffling on the whole time. don't know what good it will do, but it doesn't seem to do any harm, except maybe that i have to think about things i would rather forget. I wish i was normal and didn't have depression. I wish i could gain weight, i'm underweight, but i never seem to be able to eat any more. i never get fatter or heavier. Leaving home to go to uni has sorted me out a bit, getting away from home and my family helps my state of mind somewhat, but i miss my dad.
Why I Am Here
I suppose i am here to have somewhere t get down all the stuff that bothers me, so probably no one will want to read it. but that doesn't matter. Now that i have been to a doctor and definately know what is wrong with me it's not a secret any more. i don't want it to define my life, though it will probably seem like it from what i write here. this is where i hope to get it all out of my system, so that i can get on with the rest of my life. I'm not claiming that this will 'cure' me, but it may help to put my feelings out there. who knows? (more on that when i do know i guess)
I should say that this is my second account on H2G2, but that i don't want to use the other one anymore because that is where i comunicate with my Godfather, and whilst my feelings are no longer a secret, i don't want to disturb him with the worst of my ramblings. I know they disturb me, and i don't need to burden everyone else with them, I already do that to my councillor and my boyfriend and my best friend and occasionaly my dad. (the list grows)
Why here in particular?
Why here indeed. I am a massive fan of the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, I think the Guide here is a brilliant idea.
Latest Messages
| Messages left for this Researcher | Posted |
|---|---|
| An ACE G'day HighGuildsmanMerc .... | Oct 9, 2007 |
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| saturday | Nov 26, 2007 | No Replies |
| Friday | Oct 12, 2007 | No Replies |
| Thursday | Oct 11, 2007 | No Replies |
| A Better day (but fire alarm woke me up) | Oct 10, 2007 | No Replies |
| Deppression | Oct 10, 2007 | No Replies |
HighGuildsmanMerc
Researcher U9937114
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