h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

American Beauty was excellent. Just as thought-provoking as I expected, and much less depressing. In fact, it sparked a very lengthy discussion of life in general with an acquaintance who, on the basis thereof, has been upgraded to friend.

Meanwhile, I managed today to successfully defend my claws against the evil clippers of doom. It took two large males to hold me down, and they tried for a good ten minutes to get at my nails before I finally struggled free and they, bruised and bleeding, gave up. I think they were rather impressed.

We are very proud of you! Hurray hurray hurray!

My girlfriend managed to make all clippers somehow disappear.
Her toenails are now majestic. The fysiotherapeut who visits us every week complained that in case she can walk again next year she can't wear any shoes. He told us her toenails are way beyond clipping
The nails have to be trimmed with special equipment. He mentioned specials saws and other tools you usually find in a toolshed (if you have a toolshed, we don't). Now if she wants to wear shoes next year I've got the task of finding a manicure who A) will come to our house and B) has specialized equipment like mini-chainsaws or a thing called a 'slijptol' (thats the dutch word, don't know how to translate but it spins around very fast and can be used to remove things locks on a bicycle). As my last thievery of bicycles is now about 16 years ago (and at the time I used a massive tool to cut the locks or the chains) I don't own such equipment.

Hold on to your claws. Don't let them come near you, especially if they look like someone from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Yow. That sounds impressive. Good luck with the nails...and as for mine, I do intend to hold on to them, although unfortunately daily wear and tear does take its toll.

On the other hand, I'm glad she isn't japanese!
What if she suddenly would have gotten the urge to give me a massage by walking over my back? Those nails would tear me apart and my liver would have been sliced in to nice small edible pieces (I'm pretty sure there is nobody in her family named Lecter and she doesn't like Chianti).

Thought about sandals (you can have a great religeous career ) or moving to a nice island with beaches and palmtreas (don't forget your towel)?

Next millenium action group Greenpiece: save the nails !

Actually, I don't grow out my toenails, just my fingernails. Toenails leave pretty nasty gashes when you accidentally jab yourself in the opposite heel.

Or her nails in MY heels. Long fingernails also can leave some nasty gashes and they weren't in my heel...

Don't I know it. It's sooooo much fun....