h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have been avoiding the news.

Tuesday's train crash outside Paddington (5th October) leaves me feeling hollow. I’ve kept away from TV news, switched channels when the news comes on the radio and have not read any papers. Last night all that changed, I caught the news, only a few moments. Relatives queue to lay wreaths. A hand written sign outside Reading Station reads "Come home Daddy we love you. Claire." I sob. I'm fighting back the tears again now as I write this. I turn the TV off and go to bed. I feel the pain of those wives, that little girl. Friends. Relatives. All of them.

I take the 7.53 from Cheltenham Spa to Bristol Temple Meads. We have been house hunting the length and breadth of Gloucestershire and Wiltshire for 74 days. Proximity to a station so that I have easy train access to London and Bristol is one of our search criteria. With this in mind we have been looking at towns and villages served by Cheltenham Spa, Stroud and Kemble.

There is a notice up in the station today. A request for information on passengers who took the 0603 to London on Tuesday - the train that turned into a crematorium furnace.

Should I try to live and behave as if the train I'm now sitting on could be a death train? I'd spend much more time with the children and Wanda. I'd curb my drinking. Save money for them and for us. For holidays and trips away. I've said it so I'll now do it. Just you watch. Do something every day to make my wife’s life easier. (Raising children is tough work).

These are not New Year's resolutions to be dropped in a week's time. This is a permanent change. I'll begin with small things I can easily do. I said as much last night having turned off the news. That I'd try and give half a day to each of the children over the weekend, my daughter (3) on Saturday mornings, my son (1) Sunday afternoons, for example. My daighter and I used to swim every weekend - we haven't been swimming since June. I loved the couple of hours I had alone with my son in Cheltenham on Wednesday. More please.

Dad was barely present in my childhood; there's no chance of me being as remote as he was.