h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you can read this, there's little doubt that you need counselling. It proves that you are in fact a user of the H2G2, which may be bad enough. But it also proves that you may look up people like me!
And this, my friends, is a serious thing!

My advice is that you immediately go to http://www.h2g2.com/A252217 and read the suggestion there.
Then you start a new forum, headlined by the essentials of your problem. I'll get back to you.

And trust me, if you are going there for counselling, you REALLY need it!

If I need counselling for looking up people like you, do you need it for pre-offering a service for those that do?

Sorry, I've always wanted to go to a psychiatrist and ask THEM questions, ie:

So, tell me about your secretary...
Well, I've had her for three years and I would say that she's very competent.
Oh, you poor bastard. You realise that by telling me that she's competent you're saying that you doubt your own self-worth?
Oh, I see your point.
Sorry, time's up. NEXT QUACK!

Not saying you're a quack. I tend to ramble at times...

It's okay to ramble, but how about some counselling on it?

Yeah, but if I got ramble therapy I might stop. And my ability to rabbit on endlessly about inane stuff is one of my most annoying features! Just ask any of my ex-housemates. If I stopped rambling, where would it go from there?

Would I give up my dreams of fluking wealth and get an actual career?
Would I start thinking that my artistic talent IS NOT going to be comparable to Picasso's in five years' time?
Would I relinquish my position as poster boy for apathy?

I don't think any of these things would be a good move...

If you'd like to counsel someone, you could counsel me on why I have a defective response to:
a) fear
b) criticism
c) praise
d) mushrooms

You pick!

Okay, but you start a string under the 'Counselling' entry. Otherwise it's against the rules.

Okay...I'm playing by the rules.....

For now....

Bwah hahahaha...

*Shudders*