h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Our new central heating boiler broke down last week. We called an engineer - but he immediately declared that it was a problem with the electrical supply and nothing to do with him.

What could it be? I don't have much knowledge about these practical matters, but I like to think that I can get stuck in and solve problems from first principles. My first theory was . We've had lots of lately, and I'd seen some gnaw damage to an extension lead. So I decided to investigate whether they'd gnawed through the mains wiring below floor level.

This meant...emptying all the bits and detritus from under the staits, then easing myself backwards and feed first,past the boiler and gas meter and through a wee hatch in the floorboards with two feet clearance above, just wide enough to fit me - provide I kept both arms above my head to keep my shoulders narrow and breathed in. Then I had to thread my feet over a water pipe so I could extend my legs forward and ease my bottom downwards (all without the aid of hands to help me) until I came to rest on the rubble and soot subfloor. Tearing a massive hole in my crotch on a nail as I went.

I had a scout around and there was nothing obvious. I traced the wire from the boiler - which disappeared back up through the floor after a few feet. So I stuck my head back up the hatch and saw that it led into...the fused switch next to the boiler.

Ah well. At least it would be a simple repair. Once I'd got back to floor level...Not as easy as you'd think. In fact,it's damned difficult moving *anywhere* with your arms over your head, your feet stretched out in front of you, your knees over a pipe and having to bend forwards at the same time. To cut a long story short, it took me half an hour of huffing and puffing.

And that's why I never go potholing. Basically, 'cause I'm a fat .

*Tearing a massive hole in my crotch on a nail as I went.*

One hopes one is referring to one's trousers.

I hate being stuck in confined spaces. I'd never go potholing because it'd freak me out. Though I did go into an underwater cave, once.

Hope you get the problem sorted, and that your crotch recovers from the ordeal.

Oof! I have the occasional nightmare about cave diving - yet some people do it has a hobby.

I was once offered a ride on a submarine. They've *very* enclosed places. I could stand being onboard one in harbour...but the thought of being submerged in one gives me the screaming heebie jeebies.

'You'll not get me up in one of those.'

I went down in a submarine of sorts when I went to Bermuda. It was actually fun, except for my ears popping the whole time (happens when I fly, etc, too).

K gets the hebbie jeebies watching cave divers on TV/ in movies. I only got nervous swimming through a narrow passage. More nervous than I was for the rest of the dive, anyway- since I'm asthmatic and I breathe really shallow I was paranoid the whole time about running out of air. Being unable to breathe is one of my only genuine fears.

Oh, a submarine with windows would be OK. But I'm talking about the sinister, black death machines moored just down the road from here.







Bum. Jools Holland is just finishing. Only one song from Regina Spektor! And I'd already seen that one on the live addition last week.

I have a totally bizarre fascination with Jools. I've probably only seen two or three of his programs (one was when I was visiting the UK), and I have a goofy Rockabilly album. Not nearly enough. can't explain why he fascinates me so.

I wouldn't like to be submerged in anything without windows, no.

He's finished now. And I've just been checking out The Dead Weather on YT. Rather good! But how perverse of jack White to play drums.

I ended up going potholing *again* yesterday. We took advantage of the gorgeous sunshine and went to the part of the West Highland Way along Loch Lomond that I tried to persuade Christopher to visit. I took A & E to see 'Rob Roy's Cave', where Rob Roy McGregor allegedly hid from the forces of colonial exploitation.

I didn't take a camera, unfortunately - but here's other folks' shots on Flickr.
http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=rob+roy%27s+cave

It was a bit of a scramble to reach it. Entirely unsuitable for a seven year old child, with danger of falling into the loch...But he enjoyed it immensely.