h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just had a frustrating phone call with a Scandiwegian arline company.

I'd booked to fly Gothenburg-Copenhagen, Copenhagen-Glasgow. Then I realised that I wasn't thinking like a modern European. These days, Sweden and Denmark are connected by a lovely bridge. And my hotel is right by a railway station where I can get a direct train to Copenhagen airport which will be just about the same time and a lot more relaxing than flying. And if I leave early, I can have a day's sightseeing in Copenhagen.

So I phoned to cancel the first leg. I can't - the ticket is non refundable.

Fair enough. I'll forgo the money. The only penalty will be not covering the £3O (!!!) first class train fair.

So could they please cancel it anyway and I'll just check in at Copenhagen.

No. If I don't show up and board the aircraft in Gothenborg, my whole ticket is cancelled.

What?!! Why?

Because that kind of ticket doesn't allow you to do that.

I hate that kind of non-answer. Basically, they're saying that their company policy is to piss me off by making me do something that I really don't want to do, with no advantage whatsoever to them.

Is this a regular or a discount airline?

Very little service minded I think.

Well, I would try again - with another person. Ask the hell out of them

Aah, the joys of airline ticket rules! When I worked for BA, we had this kinda thing all the time. It's because changing the routing (ie not getting the first flight) is the worst thing in the world, or something. Personally, I never *really* got that one. Still sucks though.

>>Is this a regular or a discount airline?

SAS!

SAS

They are having trouble - but still the should be able to reschedule tickets and flights. It cannot be right. Make a fuss.

I already have! I just get a variety of Scandiwegian stonewalling:
"It's not possible."

(Yes it is. They just won't let me do it.)

The thing is...I could even check my bag in at Copenhagen hours before the Gothenburg flight even takes off.

I just wish I had the magic formula of words that would convince them - or at least give me access to an intelligent decision maker.

And the worst of it is that this now means a three hour wait in an airport of an evening, instead of a day's sightseeing, an early dinner and a relaxed trip to the airport.

Cycling in Sweden we found the Swedes to be the most helpful people in the world, who would go out of their way to accommodate you, and leave a key sticking in a door for you to get in if you are arriving too late for them to be there, and so on. Wonderful.

Except when they don't want to be helpful. Then an impenetrable shutter clangs down, and don't bother trying -- it really is impenetrable.

We looked for a train that would take our bicycles. The train company knew nothing. The town-Information people told us there is a company that will sell you a ticket, put your bikes on your train and unload them on arrival.

It worked perfectly. The train company knew nothing about it, apparently. Officially you can't bring a bike on a train at all at all (unless it's a Danish one coming over the bridge).

That's so stupid. I missed my debarkation on a cruise once, and all I had to do was fly to the next port of call. So it should stand to reason that if you "miss" your flight to Copenhagen, all that should happen is you check in when you get there. It doesn't sound *that* difficult.

I'd have thought you would have received rules of ticket use when you bought your ticket. And they may be online somewhere.

And: how long are you in Glasgow for?

Er...about seventeen years, so far. That's my return flight.

On the other hand, I've never been to Gothenburg before - and it looks like I'm never going to Copenhagen. (Except that if I do a good job they'll want me back, and I can book more sensibly next time).

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rub it in, why don't you. "You should have read the rules" was exactly what the nice lady at SAS said. Fair enough. The idea of tha train trip and enhanced sightseeing potential only ocurred to me once I'd booked.

But my point is...nobody would lose by this rule being proken. "The guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools."

Yes, it does seem outstandingly stupid.

Incidentally, Glasgow is really easy for me to get to, if you fancy a drink sometime with a dubious character you vaguely know off the Internet.

Er... outstandingly stupid of THEM. Not you!

Sure! It's a date. Friday early afternoons are best.

Where are you?

Hang on, just seeing if I have your email address...

See my PS.

Not around next week, obviously. Drinking akvavit with tall, blonde sailors.

Ah! It's on your h2g2 page. Do you have Gmail chat, by any chance?

(Not next week, then. )

Email duly sent.

So no Copenhagen trip in the end?

Some Copenhagen.

Long enought to get the metro into town, stroll around, have dinner and Christmas beer...and arrive back at the station to find that the metro to the airport was cancelled. I made my flight with seconds to spare. Missing would have been awful because I'd also had to cancel my credit cards (long story).

Still...I know the routine now and I already have more work planned in Yorteborrr.