h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There's a piece of Glasgow folklore about a famed cinema proprietor who used to advertise "Double feature, dinner and a fur coat - 5 Shillings!" For that sum you'd get a cinema ticket and a rabbit.

They seem to be settling in. They enjoy being handled and running around the living room. The last owner told us they don't get on - but when we brought them out together, they just spent a few minutes making noises like teeth chattering (I gather it's what counts as aggression in guinea rabbits), and then settled down once their credentials were established.

My brother says more or less the same thing - that his Staffordshire Bull Terrier pet gets on ok with other dogs after the initial growling and drawn back lip display

It's a bit like the hale-and-hearty types who like to impress you with the firmness of their handshake.

Exactly. I hate that - these types who shake hands as a test of machismo - the hand zooms in from shoulder level - in fact I don't like shaking hands at all really. I can see why the Queen always wears gloves. All that bacteria going around.
Blokes who have just been for a slash or a shat and haven't washed them properly annoy me too.
The other thing don't like is having to kiss strange women on their powdery cheeks.
We have some disgusting habits when you think of it. Not as bad as dogs. But not far off.

It shouldn't do - but it always comes as a mild shock when I have to kiss a man. The last one was Turkish.

That reminds me of something I read recently. Apparently a new forensic technique is being used to work out if a fingerprint is from a man or a woman. You measure how much urea is in the residue left on the fingerprint, and you can tell with something like 90% accuracy if it's male or female because men's fingerprints have 2 or 3 times as much urea in them as women's.

Delightful.

Old military joke:

A soldier and a sailor are peeing at the urinals. The sailor finishes first, tucks himself up and goes to leave. The soldier says:
"Didn't the navy teach you to wash your hands afterwards?"
The sailor replies,
"Didn't the army teach you not to piss on your hands?"

Here's a thought I had a few years back:

You go for a No.2.
You wipe your botty properly and flush the paper.
Before washing your hands you pull up your pants, you pull up your trousers and fasten them.
Then, and only then, do you make you way to the sink to wash your hands having already wiped them on your pants and trousers.
You turn on the tap.
In a public toilet you also open the door like every person before you...

I've taken to using a small pack of wet wipes when using public toilets or at work, and not pulling up my pants until I've washed my hands at home.

Blessings,
Matholwch .

Humans are very badly designed really. Just about every other animal can lick their own bum.

zdt

I went in a toilet in Slovakia where a man sold you a piece of toilet paper for a small coin. Before I went in I watched people buying their single piece of thin, almost transparent, Slovakian toilet paper. One person bought two pieces. Two pieces I reckon would be the bare minimum. Usually I need at least 3 or 4. But one piece? What use is one piece?

-and not pulling up my pants until I've washed my hands at home.-

How do you walk?

Only on Ed's threads could the topic drift go from guinea pigs to bum wiping techniques in Slovakia.

zdt

-Humans are very badly designed really. Just about every other animal can lick their own bum.-

Reminds me of the story of the man who was watching his dog licking his good bits and said to no one in particular 'I wish I could do that'
His wife overheard him and offered 'Well, he is your dog, maybe if you started by rubbing his belly.'

Solution to the problem of washing your hands before pulling up pants:
http://www.kk.org/cooltools/archives/toiletsink2.jpg

I first encountered one of these units in Japan

What a good idea...assuming it isn't using water from out of the loo. It looks just the right size for dunking guinea wigs too.

Whilst on the subject of pets & sanitary appliances; here for your amusement are cats in sinks. Beware, it is addictive.

http://catsinsinks.com/

zdt

Math:
>>I've taken to using a small pack of wet wipes when using public toilets or at work

I thought you'd be into the idea of natural immunity. .

Ah yes! The mysteries of the East European toilet. The first Czech I learnt was 'Pisaor, prosim' (ie, I don't need to use the 'Kabinet'. thanks, I'm just in for a pish.'

I could never get on with Hungarian, though. I remember saying to one guy,
'I've no idea what you're saying, but I'm bursting for a crap!'.
He got the message.

'course, we don't need paper. Terri will tell us all about the plastic teapots. And see also my footnote 18 here A4113811.

Math -
you could rinse your hands under the tap and dry them on your hair
as for the door, being a recumbent cyclist, you could open it with your shoe - on or off your foot.

Er...I think you're maybe confusing the drood with a wise Irishman.

>>-Humans are very badly designed really. Just about every other animal can lick their own bum.-

One can have an awful lot of fun trying, though. And even more fun letting someone else do it for you.

I'd like to see a crocodile lick its own bum