h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Apparently the post has arrived at home, and I got a letter I've been waiting for.

I've been appointed as a member of The Children's Panels in Glasgow. Basically, this is the equivalent of a magistrate for children (sort of). Under the Scottish system, decisions on custody, placing in care, supervison, parental access etc. are taken outwith the court system and made ina more child-centred environment where discussion of the options is possible. The decisions are made by a three member lay panel who take advice from various concerned parties.

It's a scarily big thing. Once I've been trained, over the next couple of months, I'll be involved in decisions that affect peoples' lives. My only real qualification is that I'll probably be better than some other eejit.

I've also got a nice certificate from the police saying that they've never heard of me...which somehow seems like an admission of failure on my part. (And theirs )

>> My only real qualification is that I'll probably be better than some other eejit.

That is surely the ultimate qualification!

Congrats on your appointment, Edward. I reckon you'll do a fine job.

I can't think of a person better suited than you (not that I know anyone else in Glasgow AFAIK)

I like the sound of that system; it seems better than the money-grubbing courts of the States where custody issues are debated. I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job.

The court option is still open to vindictive/rich parents, and to poorer parents with unscrupulous legal aid solicitors. However, the Panels have the first (and usually final) say. And it's not just a case of telling families what they need to do: the panels can instruct the social work and education departments on what *they* should be providing for the child. Apparently its usually those ones that go to court because cash-starved local government departments try to wriggle out of their obligations.


I've had to think a little abou what I think is the skill I'll be bringing to it. I think the main one is the ability not to make assumptions. I'll not be going in thinking that I know what people's lives are like and how I can make them better.

>I'll not be going in thinking that I know what people's lives are like and how I can make them better<

I think that'll be a huge benefit.

Congrats on being chosen to help in this way!

Nice one Ed!

So how did you end up doing this? Is it something you apply for or did someone recommend you for it, or something like that?

Well that's my possible move north of the border well and truly busted...

Congratulations. If you apply the same reasoning to the Children's Panel as you do around here, you'll do a fine job.

Bravo Ed and keep your sense of humour!

Good for you Ed, you'll do fine I'm sure.

Ta, all. You get the job by applying and passing a not very onerous interview. I shouldn't kid myself that I've impressed anyone - they're crying out for volunteers.

Curiously, when I mentioned that I was applying to a friend, she said "Why? You're not involved in teaching or social work or anything." Well - firstly, this means I can take an independent view. Secondly...it's precisely because it's so far from my day job that I want to do it! It's contact with The Real World. It's about people's lives, not shareholders' money.

As part of the interview, there was a group discussion around a printed scenario...family where the parents were separated...teenage boy keeps on staying away from home all night...suspicion that he's involved in bullying. The group were saying well meaning things, but it's amazing how many conclusions people jumped to. The scenario didn't say he was living with his mother...didn't say he was bullying (he could have been being bullied)...and it was only a suspicion. There were more prompts to seek more informationm than there were hard facts. Assume nothing!

Ed,

My immediate reaction on reading this was "I wish I'd thought of that!" - for about a second. It's a helluva responsibility, and will involve dealing with some very sad stories and very unpleasant people. I'm sure it has its rewards, but bravo to you for taking it on.

Best of luck with it.

"The vast majority of people lead lives of quiet desparation"
Henry David Thoreau.

Congratulations on your appointment. Random Mood

Ed, it's time the whole unpleasant roobarb truth was out:

a stout coarse perennial herb of the buckwheat family from the Volga region....or a heated argument, scuffle or quarrel...a cathartic and bitter tonic made from roots of the herb....or a word often used by bit-part actors...or fleshy stalks of the herb used for making pies....

You and two others. So now I need a new seudonym.

However...nobody has yet spotted that it's a reference to the EU Jam Regulations.

I had a fifty pound win from Ernie last March. Now I've taken out a standing order to buy them each month. You can get probably get such a standing order form at the post office or wait till you have a win and find the form enclosed with Ernie's letter of notification.

Bugger! You do know the rules, don't you? Now that you've refered to it, I'm going to have to change it.

But only when I'm good and ready.