h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I need some advice.

On Friday, I'm being interviewed by phone by a potential customer. It's for some consultancy work which my employer is quite keen to get, and which I'd be well qualified for and good at.

The problem is that it would involve being away from home five days per week for six months. This would be harmful for both my family and my own health. (Done it before. Still bear the scars.)

So...what's the best way for me to flunk the interview while still seeming technically competent and keen?

Obnoxiousness? It doesn't need to be in conflict with competence, though maybe it does with keenness. Or, privately tip this client off that a competitor could do the job cheaper. I've done that once before now when really ed off with a boss - a modern form of Luddism

Whatever you try, good luck! (Or should it be "Bad luck"?)

I've failed several interviews over my career, but never intentionally. So, I'll give it some thought during the day today, try to think what I did wrong, and get back to you. I'd like to give you as serious an answer as possible, this time.

I like the above suggestion about the tip-off, though. Sometimes, that kind of stuff doesn't get back to your employer at all.

I have to admit though, when I did it it was just helping a customer who was buying something in a shop. To do it in a telephone interview would require a whole different level of chutzpah!

You cannot pass the buck to someone else at your workplace - who would like to do the job?.

How bad is it to tell your boss that it will harm your family if you take on this task, and thank you but no thank you?

Flunking an interview seems hazardous to me.

Yeah...I suppose the point is that I should never have been put forward for it in the first place. A bit of assertiveness is in order.

(I haven't done the assertiveness training...I was too shy to put myself forward.</old joke&gt

I was rather put on the spot when my boss first mentioned the possibility, and I felt that I had to agree that it's work that would be highly suitable for me. Plus - I'm short of work at the moment. But at the end of the day...well, let's just say that if I've already been panicking about it, I'm not going to last six months anyway.

Well, something to keep in mind is that if the interview is taking place on a company telephone then it may well be monitored, so watch what you say!

I agree with tartaronne that trying to flunk the interview is not a good idea. Perhaps you can just explain that you are flattered and pleased to have been offered such a wonderful opportunity but that, unfortunately, family and health matters require that you stay close to home right now, but that you hope to possibly work with this company at some future date.

Edward, I find it hard to imagine you at a loss for words.

But better to be up front and honest about it, I think.



az

Oh, it won't be monitored. a) my boss is on a different site (down south) and b) the company's nowhere near that competent.

I suppose the whole problem results from my residual guilt at being ill in the first place. I hope to leave them with a feeling of 'Damn! This guy's good! Pity he's not available.'

<>



And also letting them know how disappointed *you* are and that you hope to be able to work with them sometime in the future. I really think that's the best way to go.


az

>I suppose the whole problem results from my residual guilt at being ill in the first place. I hope to leave them with a feeling of 'Damn! This guy's good! Pity he's not available.'<

You are good, though. So I'm sure they would feel that way.

I'm sometimes guilty of thinking that if I try to assert myself and put my family and health first, I'll wind up on the "sh*t list". But on the other hand, do you really want to be on the top of anyone's list who thinks you're just a doormat?

Seems to me that your boss realizes how competent and valuable you are. Maybe Azahar's right, and you ought to just come out and tell your boss that you're not willing to jeopardize your health or compromise your family's well-being for this contract. Surely they have someone else in the company better suited to being away from home five days a week?

I wouldn't do it, either, for whatever that's worth.

Good luck, whichever method you choose.

Don't feel guilty about being ill Edward. Hope it works out so you don't have to go.

Welll...it's more-or-less agreed that I could try talking the customer into having me available on site 3 days per week. The trick now appears to be to come over sufficiently equivocal so that they don't trust that I'll not try and wangle even more time at my base office.

The whole thing is stressing me and p---ng me off, though. My boss is emphasising the importance of me getting more work - as if I didn't know!

Still - if push comes to shove, I'm sure I'll have good grounds for a constructive dismissal case - the benefit of having been a union member all these years.

How did it go?

Well...about 5 minutes before it was due to start, my boss phoned me and said that if it changed my views about working away full time, she'd been talking to her boss about 'headcount reductions' at the end of the year.

This was possibly meant to give me focus...but as you can imagine, it turned my head to mush. Nevertheless, I gave a good, professional interview. Even without my raising the topic, the interviewers said that they appreciated that I was normally based in Glasgow and they might be able to find ways of lessening the burden. They said they were encouraged that doing the interview by phone was much easier than they'd anticipated.

So...I'm meant to hear today. Meanwhile, I remain utterly dejected and p-----d off about the whole thing.

There's also an elephant in the room: It's government work and would require positive vetting...which I'd fail for medical reasons. Basically, they're wary of entrusting secrets to reformed lunatics.

It all sounds very dodgy & stressful & i totally agree with Az. If in *any* doubt; be totally honest with everyone. If the bloody interview is stressing you out, the job itself could be a total nighmare.

Unless you are utterly poverty stricken, i doubt that something like this is going to be either necessary or desirable. But don't P them off entirely; just state your case honestly "Right now; i doubt that it's for me, let's talk later about other, more suitable stuff; thank you for considering me"

zdt

>my boss phoned me and said that if it changed my views about working away full time, she'd been talking to her boss about 'headcount reductions' at the end of the year<

Oh, I love those thinly veiled "if you're not willing to , then you must not need this job that badly..." threats.

I really hope it works out for the best, whatever happens. Fingers tightly crossed.

I think in fairness to my boss, she means well. She's a nice woman and was supportive (and tolerant!) when I was ill. But she's not good at handling her own bosses and oftentimes she loses the plot.

No word yet. I was meant to hear Friday or Monday, so I don't know whether this is good or bad. Whatever good and bad mean under the circumstrances .

>>Whatever good and bad mean under the circumstrances<<

Ain't that the truth! Or to quote The Book, "we will be reestablishing normalcy just as soon as we know what normal really is".

Feck! Feck! Feck! I went and passed the fecking fecker!

Well...it's not as bad as it seems. My job inevitably requires travel - the price for daring to live outside the South Eastern Economic Zone. But my tactic has partly paid off. I've convinced the customers that I'm so good that they want to try and accommodate my domestic circumstances - so it will mean 3 days per week until the end of the year, full time in January (running some experiments - can't be done remotely), then writing up from home base. Could be worse. Better than redundancy. And it looks like an interesting field of work.

I've also got my boss off my back - although she'd like me to start Monday and I'm holding out for later in the week.

She did also pay me the complement of saying that, of the people in the company, I'm the one who knows his stuff the best. I've got an extremely self-doubting personality, so I need reminding from time to time that actually I'm s--t hot! My attitude is generally that if people are so easily impressed, then they must be eejits, so their opinions of me are unreliable anyway.

Imagine how rich I'd be if I wasn't so f---ed up!

You remind me a lot of me.