h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Eaton NJ: Joseph Green, a cashier at Handy Mart has reportedly lost the NJ Lottery, again. "It's the third time in a row this has happened to me" Mr. Green reports. Friends say that Joe purchased the ticket at the newsstand on Wednesday. On Friday, Joe discovered that the ticket was worthless. "I had six numbers, but they didn't match the numbers picked by the Lotto drawing lady." Joe said. "The same thing happened twice before, this is a living nightmare for me". "What are the odds of this happening three times to the same person?" he asks. Joe has filed a formal complaint with the NJ Lottery Commission. Lottery officials today declined to make any comment beyond the fact that the incident is currently under investigation.

Didn't I read about that in the Onion? Where have you been, by the way? Heck, Lupa smote me and I'm still here!

~Irving

I wrote that in the Onion style and sent it to them, they never replied, I thought it was perfect. There is an note on their board that says they don't accept submissions. I tried anyway. Windows 2000 killed my MindSpring connection and I can't get it to work. I can only get to the net from work and I've been very busy. U

Well you're missed

I still think I saw that in the Onion... maybe they stole it from you!

~Irving