h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hit the road on the bike yesterday after work I've been aching for a fast hard ride and the weather was perfect. So I did the maniac thing and probably got flashed by several speed cameras. Oh well - that's why I don't have a numberplate
I stopped at my folks on the way back too. Figured I'd arrive in time for supper
But Prov was sitting outside in a sulk, and when I pulled in, she was really overdramatic and jumped on the back of the bike proclaimning I must take her away from there (yes, she was proclaiming it - you'll know what I mean if you've ever heard anyone "proclaiming" before). Anyway, I went inside regardless and almost got knocked out by the fumes in that house! There were five huge bongs on the dining table and that was not normal smoke coming out of the fireplace, and my folks were rolling around the floor finding everything very funny.
Naturally of course, I found this all amusing too - partly because I had grown up with this and half my life I had been on a high whether I wanted to be or not, and partly because the fumes were getting to my head too.
Prov was angry and yelling that it couldn't be good for the baby, but hey, Dan and I were born right when they were doing this every night and I think we didn't turn out all that bad...


Ok, so that's debatable...

I can't remember anything else that happened last night.
But I was late for work this morning.

Whatever happened to sex drugs 'n rock 'n roll?

We realised how dangerous drug taking and unsafe sex was and rock and roll is still going

*hands you a chilli peppers CD*

"All we got now is AIDS, crack and Techno..."

Sorry, I had a horribly irresponsible evening. But hey, my parents are still hopeless hippies and we were raised like that and besides, all that smoke was funny anyway coz the neighbour called and asked if he should get the fire dept out!

What?

Just nothing to say, no way to relate or understand. So ...

And a for the next time you feel like being excessively silly.

Cripes, my folks wouldn't dream of doing such things: it is, therefore, my duty to make up for their lost time.

But I have, however, been told that I was reckless and irresponsible.

You probably were reckless and irresponsible but, hey, it'd no fun otherwise.

With typically bad timing I'm off to work now.

It was fun

And I take it you don't have internet at work?

Yep, but I spend as much time as possible out of the office. I prefer knocking on doors to answering 'phones.

Are you one of those door-to-door salesmen?

*giggles at the sudden vision of Roymundo with a suitcase full of brushes*

I always have this horrible urge to attack those people.

Worse. Much, much worse.

Are you a JW?

Ye gods on a slimy stick, no.

I'm a tax collector.

Really.

Roy, has anyone ever tried to bludgeon you with something large and heavy?

Only in a fun way.

Ah, I see.