h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Australia's answer to 'Apollo 13' - a little Ozzie flag-waver about its seemingly small but pivotal role in the American Moon Landing. A role that almost ended in failure

The Dish focuses on the Parkes Satellite Dish (in the middle of a sheep farm) and the four technicians who man it. The dish played a crucial link between Apollo 11 on the moon and several million TV screens around the world.

While Apollo 13 was loud, bombastic and very serious, The Dish is quiet, quaintly Australian and self-deprecating. It's has fun with all the characters, but it's not disrespectful or disparaging to the technicians.

Good work by all concerned, but in particular Sam Neill and Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld).

Apart from a few colourful peculiarities of Aussie speech-patterns, this is one the whole family can go and see.

This was a pleasant film, with no baddies whatsoever. I liked the Oz speech.

Which is all the excuse I need to cut and paste something I found on a bulletin board (apologies if this is an old chestnut endlessly doing the rounds):

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Have you spent years trying and failing to understand what New Zealanders are saying? Just by following these easy steps you too can hold a conversation with a New Zealander.

What you hear and what it really means:

BETTING: "Betting Gloves" are worn by betsmen in crucket.
BRIST: Part of the human anatomy between the "nick" and the "billy"
BUGGER: As in "mine is bugger than yours".
CHULLY BUN: Also known as an Esky
DIMMER KRETZ: Those who believe in democracy.
ERROR BUCK: Language spoken in countries like "Surria", "E-Jupp" and Libernon.
EKKA DYMOCKS: University staff
GUESS: Flammable vapour used in stoves.
SENDLES: Thongs, open shoes
COLOUR: Terminator, murderer.
CUSS: Kiss
DUCK HID: Term of abuse directed mainly at males.
PHAR LAP: NZ's famous horse, which was actually christened "PHILLIP".
FITTER CHENEY: A type of long flat pasta not to be confused with "rugger tony"

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FASHION SHOPS: Fish 'n' Chips

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Pointless Kiwi truvya:

Obviously you know of Sam Neill's Kiwi heritage (even though he was born in Northern Ireland), but Roy Billings who played the Mayor is also of Kiwi origins.

Oh and welcome back Miss K

I've seen two other films in the last few days: 'Get Over It' and 'Down To Earth'.

I enjoyed GOI much more than I expected - it seems to be a mixture of a few different genres, and I think it works quite well.

As for DTE, don't bother - if this is a vehicle for Chris Rock, I can't see it getting anywhere. Very poor.

Pearl Harbor tonight!

Why did I come up as someone else? I'm not used to using PCs, but this is silly! I've logged in again now, and now I'm me again. I hate this computer!

What a small world!

Mystery login problem solved, and first encounter with h2g2 researcher thrown in!

I'm on a two-day mentoring course (I'm going to be a mentor for young people, which is only one step away from being Superwoman). One of the organisers is the h2g2 researcher Moqtadee, who I've exchanged words with here a long time ago. And I can tell you this: 1) he doesn't look at all like you'd imagine; 2) his real name is not Moqtadee (but hey, I'm not telling!; and, 3) he doesn't click logout on the computer here.

He's quite nice really, but he loses marks for providing the worst instant coffee I've ever tasted.

Well, as Mike Yarwood used to say, this is the real me!

May I point out:

1. I think I look how I imagine! And Kaoeri isn't at all like a school mistress.

2. It's Muqtadee, actually -- just my internet name, but anyone who'd like to know me real name is quite welcome.

3. I really didn't expect anyone to log on to H2G2. That's not really what you're here for today!

I apologise for the coffee, but I'm not responsible for this rather poor catering.

Oh, and to add to your 'small world', I already know Mustapha, because I read his article about Prophet Muhammad last year, and also said I would try to find his name in calligraphy. Sorry, I didn't manage it, Mustapha, but it is written in the old part of the Prophet's Mosque in Madinah, which I had the pleasure of visiting earlier this year en route to Hajj.

Ah, sorry for misspelling, but may I point out that my name is Kaeori.

Oh, and Mustapha - Muqtadee is sitting just 3 feet away, so all this is quite pointless!

That's 1 metre, in real money!

Oo-err! * he said in an attempt to lower the tone *

Kaoeri tried to post to you twice during her lunch break, but both times she made the computer crash!

And if I was careless not to log off, I suppose she was even more careless not to log on.

I won't hold it against her, though; by the end of the day we'll have whipped her into shape ready to be a mentor!

My innuendo-meter was going doolally on that last post.

Mustapha, dragging the tone down since 1972.

I had to think about that!

I hate it when you type something, only for it to disappear forever when you click 'Post Message'. PCs!

It was a fine sight to see Mr 'Muqtadee' checking all the computers to see if he was still logged on to h2g2!

And in a world of amazing coincidences, it turns out that we were born in the same year, though he is almost a month older, which makes me a young lady and him an old man!

... as the actress said to the bishop.

Apologies for the overabundance of double-entendres but in the past few days, I've been working from 5.30am till about midnight on some very serious stories. I am in desperate need of some frivolity.

These 'very serious stories' wouldn't have anything to do with 'Carry On...' by any chance?

I wish!

Unfortunately there were no naughty nurses in the health-related stories I did last week.

The only stories with any sex all surround five members of the NP Magogs Motorcycle 'Club' being charged with sexual offences, some dating back to the late 70s. Most are in their 40s and one also happens to be a NP District Councillor.

Which was fairly big stuff for local media.

Sexual offences?...

Most of the charges are listed as 'sexual violation by rape'.

A number of women are claiming they were drugged and raped at Magog Club/Gang functions. New complaints have already come forward as publicity over the case broke.

It's going to be a murky case: some of the dates given not only historic, but sometimes vague (eg one charge cites the incident occured between 01/01/85 and 31/12/86); one woman is claiming she was allegedly raped on four separate occasions at the Club HQ (which means she repeatedly went back to the club - of her own volition? at this point who knows?); the really weird part is the police are claiming the Magogs recorded these occurences in the Club's minutes - which boggles the mind!

The local paper had three of its reporters at the pre-depositions hearings and are quite keen to fill column space with all the details.

I can't imagine the minutes said: 8.50 pm - some of the lads got together for a session of sexual violation by rape.

Not that I want to make light of something as disturbing and serious as rape. It's just very weird, as you say. Personally, I suspect it is wise to steer clear of a biker's 'club' which calls itself the Magogs.

Perhaps you'll post updates on this little story.